'Match Results' Category

Cascadia Cup: Heads Up

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Image: MLSSoccer.com.

Big win in front of a big crowd for the Sounders this weekend – did you catch their 3-nil result over neighbouring rivals, Portland Timbers?

Sadly, the victory was marred by Fredy Montero‘s bizarre modified ponytail/mullet situ. Let’s give him a week or so and hope his hair choices improve.

Weekend Results: Crimes & Punishments

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Image: Mike Hewitt/Getty Images Europe.

How can something so pure and lovely as a young player taking off his shirt in celebration be a crime, when there are other, far more frightening offences being committed on the pitch all the time?

Peruse the inconsistencies in refereeing standards across Europe with us, Kickettes.

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Champions League Results, Part II: Show Us What We Want To See

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Unfortunately, we missed most of the European action yesterday, including AC Milan overcoming Zenit 3-2 in the remaining minutes, which is shocking considering the reported liberal usage of hair elastics by numerous players throughout this stage of the tournament.

Regardless of whether your team won, lost or drew, we can all appreciate Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa’s attempt to make everything better via shirt removal. He’s a Montpellier man with a truly big heart who knows what the Kickette Army needs, and gives it to us unselfishly.

That’s enough punditry for us – we’re off to scarper for non-base-layer wearing ‘ballers in compromising positions.

Champions League Results: The Kids Are Alright

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Image: Julian Finney/Getty Images Europe.

If we find out who told Chicharito vampire stories just before he took to the pitch against Cluj last night, facial bites will be the least of their problems.

Luckily, we’ve found evidence that other players in the Champions League take their childcare responsibilities a little more seriously…

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Weekend Results: A Rampant Case Of The Panzerknackers

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Die ‘Panzerknacker’ von Schalke 04“.  Yup. What they said. Image: Dapd via Derwesten.de.

According to our team of linguistics experts (AKA wikipedia), ‘Panzerknacker’ means ‘armour breaker’.

We’ll warn you now, one of our staffers is so in love with that word, she’s going to keep using it as a euphemism until we either fire her, or smother her with samples from the fashion cupboard.

Maybe both.

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