Having studied the habits of Kickette staff over the last four years, our data has demonstrated that emotional stress causes increased ingestion of cookie dough and white wine. As we approach the business end of the season, a review of our orders to the bakery suggests that we’re in for a record year, and we predict that unfulfilled threats to join a gym will spike in late May.
You too? What”s your
fatproof foolproof method of stress management? Can you share it with us, please?
Brighton’s Elliott Bennett has half an eye on Kickette notoriety with his tent/ab combo. Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.
League 1 side Brighton & Hove Albion secured promotion to the second tier of English football with a thrilling win against Dagenham & Redbridge last night. The side, currently managed by former Spurs midfielder Gus Poyet, have not lost at home all season and twice came from behind for the 4-3 win. The boys of Brighton celebrated in a Kickette-approved manner, as you can clearly see above.
If you’re a fan of a lower league side that gets promoted, send us the piccies only if/when they get nekkid dammit. We’re always on the look out for fresh blood despite our sometimes nauseatingly fawning ways.
Lampsy needs a hug, Kickettes. No pushey-shovey as you form an orderly queue, please. Image: Getty Images/Daylife.
We think this is what they call ‘the sharp end’ – that time of the season when one bad decision, one slip or one moment of genius could be the difference between eternal glory and agonising heartbreak for players and fans alike.
Our waistlines absolutely love this time of year.
This picture is so full of win, we almost can’t stand it. Saddos? Pay attention. REAL men feel pain and give hugs. ’Kay? Image: Getty Images/Daylife
Morning team! With a magnificent week of football ahead, it is vital that you are fully conversant with the events in the major European leagues over the weekend. Several alternative sites would be happy, nay thrilled, to supply you with this information.
If you require a little more from your Weekend Results, such as incidents of manlove, facial hair related intrigue and the gratuitous exposure of abdominal muscles, you need not trouble your mouse hovering index finger any more. Scroll down at your leisure and immerse yourself in the only site that embraces the true meaning of ‘the beautiful game’.
You are with friends now.
Aww, baby. Image: AP Photo/Daylife
It’s part two of our marvelous Champions League Results round up, people. Strap yourself in, grab your hip flask and join us for the ride.
(Psst: there’s semi-nekkid Pique and everything!)