'Match Results' Category

Champions League Results: Shocks & Sofa Booty


How does one expect to be featured on Kickette if he insists on remaining fully clothed!?

EPL Champions League hot football soccer playersOk, so the good news is that the tardy staffers referred to yesterday have remained awake for long enough to produce the Champions League Results post. The bad news? We had to use cattle prods to do it. The smell of scorched staffer now pervades every corner of the Kickette office and the resulting electrical surge has left us without power for the foreseeable future.

Luckily, we have smartphones and scones. Your service will not be affected.


Gennaro Gattuso: A Very Angry Man


Gennaro mistakes Joe Jordan for one of the Dirty Sanchez boys. It can only get worse from here. Image: Reuters/Daylife.

There aren’t many things that inspire our staffers to submit work that hasn’t been demanded of them. We usually rely on outright bribery (the most effective combination of items that gets them off the office sofa and churn out some copy includes vodka and Crunchie ice creams, just soes you noes) to bring you your daily dose of irreverent football gossip and snarking.

Today we learned that angry men have much the same impact. Instead of having to wait until tomorrow’s Champions League Results** to learn about Gennaro Gattuso’s red mist last night, you can avail yourself of the highlights now.


Weekend Results: Astonishment & Arse Kicking


Despite hours of rehearsal, Nani still hadn’t grasped the basic moves required for his role in Manchester United’s interpretation of Titanic. Luckily, Wayne Rooney was practically channelling Kate Winslet and saved the day. Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.

Occasionally in football, a goal possessed of such technical skill, grace and sheer audacity comes along that makes fans of all football clubs pause. That forces grunts of grudging admiration from even the most hardened cynics and alters the course of a player’s season and possibly that of his club.

Admittedly it helps if the player is Wayne Rooney, if he’s coming off the back of a mayhem scandal inspired slump in form and chooses to score it in a game that effectively ends the title chances of his club’s bitter rivals, but doesn’t that just add to the drama?

Regardless of your team affiliations, impatience at football financial wranglings and infidelity fatigue, take a moment this morning to sit back, relax and enjoy the spectacle of Rooney’s overhead kick winner against City on Saturday. It might not be the goal of the season, it might not be the best goal ever scored at Old Trafford but it’s damn good, yo.


Midweek Friendlies: Assertive Ab Adventures


Image courtesy of Kickette reader NK. Thanks!

You see the image above? This picture of Danny Agger and his abs was taken by a Kickette Soldier Girl present at the Denmark vs. England game last night. There were other photos, but unfortunately our gal’s next move was to leap the hoardings and race towards Danny, brandishing a bottle of tanning oil and a copy of ‘Tattoo Monthly’ and she was brought down by five burly security men before any contact could be made.  Her camera was damaged in the melee, as well as Danny’s shorts and a couple of innocent bystanders suffered facial scratching.


Weekend Results: Umm…What’s That You Say?


Sorry, but this is weird, no? Getty Images/Zimbio

We’re prepared to admit we occasionally (and by ‘occasionally, we mean ‘every week’) tend to waffle more about the EPL than other European leagues in the Weekend Results post. We don’t mean to, but it’s like opening a bottle of fine wine, y’see. You plan to just have a glass, but before you know it you’ve necked the bottle and are half way to the off-licence wearing only your dressing gown and one slipper.

Oh. Is that just us, then?

Anyhoo, this week we make no apology for emphasising the EPL. The anticipation for this weekend’s matches in light of Monday’s last minute transfer capers has been huge, and surprisingly the games lived up to expectation.

Come with us and see. Just let us get dressed first.