'Match Results' Category

Weekend Results: Enough Snow, Already!

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Yup. Even a slightly kinky rubber mask fails to dampen our ardour. Poor Borri. (Reuters/Daylife)

This weekend, we learned that there’s only so much fun a group of high maintenance women can have in the snow. The UK arm of the Kickette organisation inform us that while they have enjoyed thinking about building a snowman, road testing cashmere snoods and browsing the interweb for useful new winter garments, they have now had enough and would like it to go away.

Oh for the sanctuary of Kickette Island. Where the sun is hot and naked twister is compulsory. Sigh.

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Europa League: How Do You Keep Warm?

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Villarreal’s Cani. Not a method of keeping warm that we wholeheartedly approve of, to be honest. (Getty Images/Daylife)

With many of Wednesday and Thursday’s Europa League games hit by the awful weather currently sweeping the continent, it seems that players are adopting their own unique methods of counteracting the big freeze.

Instead of a proper Europa League Results Post, which would set a precedent we quite frankly stand no chance of maintaining, we have decided to examine some of these methods, and sneak some of the scores in at the same time.

Then, you’ll be happy and we can spend the next two hours refreshing weatherbug and ruing our decision not to wear boots to work. Gulp.

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Weekend Results: Tight(s) At The Top

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To close for comfort? Maybe for some… (Reuters/Getty)

There’s something for everyone in the Weekend Results as we move inexorably towards the carnage that is the festive break. The EPL, La Ligue and Ligue 1 are all tight as an unwanted base layer, while the Bundesliga and Serie A look to be over before you can say ‘We’ll take a bottle of Cristal and five straws, please’.

That statement just about covers our thoughts this Monday morning. Baller bodies and booze. That’s where we’re at, team! Let’s try and justify our existence to the wider world with actual football news, shall we?

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Champions League Results: Your Handy Eighty Page Guide

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Arsenal bubbas in a three seater stroller? If only… (Getty Images/Zimbio)

At last. We do find games in the Champions League group stages exciting, we really do. But we don’t apologise for offering forth a squeal of joy now they are over and the draw for the knock outs is about to take place. This is where the real pain begins, people.

Please enjoy a nice cup of vodka tea and possibly some sandwiches while you browse through our group qualifiers report in order to prepare yourselves.

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Weekend Results: Thank You, John Terry

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Samir Nasri. We’re starting to ‘get it’. You? (Getty Images/Zimbio)

Is it the cold weather? A new shyness breaking our amongst our baller boys? We’re not sure, but there was certainly a dearth of nekkidness in the European league fixtures this weekend. This makes our job very difficult indeed.

Y’see, when we’re compiling this post we rely quite heavily of images of boy boobs and short tents distract our faithful readers from the fact that we might not be as comprehensive as we could be in our coverage. If there are no such photographs available, there’s a serious danger you guys might actually read our Monday morning rumblings and realise we slept/drank our way through the entire weekend.

Thank goodness for John Terry’s peen. Without it, the weekend would have been a complete waste of time…

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