'Match Results' Category

Weekend Results: Tackling The Big Issues

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Bendy congratulates Marouane Chamakh on a step in the right direction. (Getty Images/Zimbio)

The Emirates is the starting point for our results round up this week, where a controversy that has been brewing for weeks finally came to a head. It was only a matter of time before the issue that has been confounding media and players alike exploded on the pitch and while it wasn’t pretty, we all feel a sense of relief and hope that Saturday’s events were the last word on the matter. 

Kickettes, the Buzzard Cut has been laid to rest. Marouane Chamakh has had a haircut. You may all breathe easy again.
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Euro 2012 Qualifier Results

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Sergio kisses it better? In our world, yes.

We’d like to say that the above photo is indicative of the international spirit of football and manlove characterising last night’s Euro 2012 qualifiers. And while Spain vs. Scotland was nearly a triumph of David and Goliath proportions, like the photo, the truth is somewhat different. There was little successful football played and the manlove was pretty thin on the ground too. Still, with true Kickette spirit, we soldier on. Pfffththhh.

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Weekend Results: Euro 2012 Qualifiers

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Kickettes! Pay attention! Taking into account last Friday’s homework assignment, we realise there’s a distinct possibility that many of you will be inhabiting Kickette Island in your head for the foreseeable future and not concentrating on important business matters. We more than anyone understand the lure, so have decided to ease you into a new (and busy) footie week with a round up of the essential Euro 2012 qualifier results.

This way, upon arrival at work you can pretend you have spent a productive weekend following the action, and not constructing elaborate fantasies involving sand and hairbraiding. You’re welcome!

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Weekend Results: Record (And Leg) Breaking

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Yes Andy, give yourself a round of applause. (Getty Images/Zimbio)

For many months now, we’ve been voicing our objections to the lack of commitment by some players to their responsibilities. There are simply too many footballers using base layers, results and/or ridiculous rules as an excuse to keep their shirts on and deprive us of our Monday Morning man meat fix.

Above, Andy Carroll puts his fellow players to shame by demonstrating how easy it is to fulfill the criteria of a Kickette lead photo. Note how the removal of the shirt and raised clapping hands results in enhanced abs and a subtle glimpse of a scrummy hip dip. How the slightly rueful expression on his face is uniquely placed to send women rushing to St James Park in order to comfort the boy/smear him in chocolate and molest him.

Come on, boys, it’s not difficult. Make a lady happy today.

And while you’re waiting, peeps, please avail yourself of the weekend results.

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Fernando Torres: A Cry In The Dark

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‘XABI! Where are you, Xabi!??!’ Fernando Torres tentatively offers his idea of where it might have all gone wrong for Liverpool. The Reds drew 0-0 with FC Utrecht in the Europa League last night. (AP Photo/Daylife)