Alex Ferguson says Javier Hernandez needs to ‘work on his physique’. Sigh. So do we, Sir Alex. So do we. Image: Getty Images/Zimbo
It seems like seconds since we finished writing up the Weekend Results and watched with interest as you lot unleashed yourselves all over the comments. Yet the football season waits for no woman and now we have a whole bunch of midweek Champions League results for you to bicker over. Makes the off-season seem like a distant and thoroughly unpleasant nightmare involving spiders and the revocation of one’s Platinum Amex, does it not?
Parma’s Hernan Crespo demonstrates that ‘oldah’ does not necessarily mean ‘ovah’. Parma lost 2-0 to Fiorentina this weekend. (Getty Images/Zimbio)
While we in no way have an inflated sense of our own self-importance, we really are beginning to suspect that we at Kickette have an influence on cosmic events. Our basis for this theory?
Er… we wrote a post about how much vicarious pleasure we get from footie upsets, and we are supplied with a weekend of them. You buying that? Yep, we know it’s tenuous but we’re hungover, knackered and desperate for good news.
But we’d be derelict in our duty to you if we didn’t attempt to exploit this potentially advantageous cosmic event. So while you read our rockin’ results round up, we’ll spend the next three hours writing poetic tracts about footballers arriving at the Kickette office in various states of undress.
We’ll let you know what happens.
Northampton Town’s Paul Rodgers. Our campaign of lower league leching continues unabated. Image: GettyImages/Daylife
Those of you familiar with the League Cup in England will be aware that it is not a trophy held in the highest regard by certain club managers. In recent years, one or two illustrious leaders have been criticised for using the competition as a proving ground for younger players and while we would hate to be seen to disagree with those in charge of football, we actually applaud this approach for two reasons.
Firstly, it provides us with a whole new raft of young players to ‘research’. Like Henri Lansbury, for instance, who scored in Arsenal’s 4-1 defeat of Spurs. Num. Secondly, the chances of an upset of epic proportions are huge. We love a bit of drama at Kickette. It whiles away the long hours between manicures and margaritas.
Please join us in a quick wallow in the biggest upsets of the last couple of days. It’s good for the soul, y’know.
This was insufficient to inspire Roma to a win. Hard to believe, really, isn’t it? Image: Getty Images/Daylife
Painful injuries, hysterical, uncontrolled celebrations, a dash of emergency thigh massage and some cheeky tongue waggling. A typical night out with the Kickette crew, perhaps ? Well, that’s for us to know and our lawyers to worry about.
Meanwhile, why don’t you join us for our regular Monday roundup of all the exciting European results? Ahem.
Kickette reasons for watching group stages of Champions League #6.
Usually we lean towards a ‘multitasking’ approach to the Champions League group stages; the tendency towards exhibition football by the bigger clubs allowing us to freely surf for handbags whilst keeping half an eye on the games.
However, certain results and events this week have caused us to avert our eyes from the latest must-haves and in honour of this stupendous revelation, we’ve decided you deserve a little round-up. Aren’t we lovely?