'Match Results' Category

EPL Newbies: A Stalking Summary

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Somewhat lost amid the hysteria of the CL final, the Championship Play Off Final to decide the last EPL promotion spot took place at Wembley Stadium on Saturday afternoon. Cardiff City and Blackpool fought an epic battle, with Cardiff taking the lead twice, but it was Blackpool who will be entertaining the likes of Manchester United, Chelsea et al at Bloomfield Road next season, winning 3-2 on the day.

Enough “proper” footy talk; let’s get to the real news at hand, shall we? Three clubs have now been promoted to the English Premier League.

In other words, we need to alert you to the box-fresh man-flesh that will be parading up and down your screens next season. Here’s a handy run-down to the newly promoted teams.

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Inter Take The Champions League Title

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Sometimes, the images just speak for themselves, don’t they? We couldn’t decide which photograph filled us with more of a sense of wonder: Francesco Toldo’s assyback technique or Jose Mourinho’s… assycrack.

A massive congratulations to Inter Milan for their 2-0 victory over Bayern Munich in the Champions League final, and for their impressive treble including the Serie A title and  Coppa Italia. We’re drinking triple the Italian expressos today in your honour boys!

FYI, Mourinho is only the third manager to win the CL with two different teams; his ego will be the first to get its own time zone and postage stamp. Amazing job, Jose!

Thanks Laura!

Weekend Results: Gold Stars For Barcelona and Inter

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Is that Lionel Messi’s boyhood spirit leaving him just in time for a major tourney? Let’s hope not! Image via AP Photos

With two second half goals last night, (bringing his total in all competitions this season to 47),  Leo may well look happy. Barcelona last night confirmed their place at the top of La Liga with a thumping 4-0 victory over Vallodolid. Real Madrid were held 1-1 away at Malaga and finish in second.

Around the same time, in a city some distance away, Inter Milan came perilously close to confirming Jose Mourhino’s belief that he is the greatest human being ever created with a 1-0 away win at Siena.

Although second place Roma won 2-0 at Chievo, their victory wasn’t enough to prevent Inter taking the Serie A title for the fifth time in a row.

Earlier this month, Mourhino’s men beat Roma to win the Italian Cup and are therefore on course for the treble, facing Bayern Munich in the Champions League final on 22nd May in Madrid.

In case you were wondering, we’ve got photos.

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Chelsea FC: Winners Take All

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John Terry, John Terry’s short tent & Frank Lampard celebrate after Chelsea beat Portsmouth 1-0 at Wembley to lift the FA Cup and complete a historic league/cup double.

This sight (above) is becoming a little familiar, is it not? Barely a week after we provided you with innumerable happy snaps of Chelsea bubbas, ballers and exotic methods of drunken embarrassment prevention we’re obliged to go there again.

To be fair, Portsmouth winning the FA Cup after the season they have had would have been a fairy tale of epic proportions, but we feel their financial difficulties would have limited the after match celebrations to a couple of bottles of cheap white wine and a kebab.

Things were a little more ‘expensive’ for the Chelsea boys (and girls). After a celebratory open-topped bus celebration involving ill advised singing the team headed to poshola Knightsbridge restaurant Frankies and then to Whiskey Mist. It would appear that a good time was had by all.

Chelsea, we salute you. Again.  Got anything in mind for next season?

Atlético Madrid: Europa League Champions

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Atletico Madrid

He came, he scored, he stripped. Twice.

Congratulations are due to Atlético Madrid on their shiny new Europa League Championship silverware. Unfortunately, the city of Madrid’s other team sealed the EPL’s trophy-less fate in European club competitions this season, much to the dismay of the Fulham boys.

Where should the Cottagers fix the blame for their loss? Diego Forlan’s abs.

Sure, his midsection flashes  are as predictable as a little black dress on a night out, but they match with everything and are a true wardrobe staple. At last count, we examined eight flexing members of his toned pack – meaning that even an unusually low-key night in with these bad boys would be good company and fun.

To that we say, chin up Fulham, you did yourselves proud. Also, get to strippin’ next club season.

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Sergio Augero Son BenjaminIf you missed the Europa League conclusion, then you didn’t have a chance to see Sergio Agüero’s son, Ben, perched on his momma’s lap.  Although Giannina Maradona and ‘Kun’ are no longer together, it’s always nice to see that parents can still be civil when raising an edible piece of baby pretzel pie.