Having spent the weekend biting our nails over as yet undecided leagues, compiling the F5 results and giving ourselves the Jaffa Cakes shakes, things are a bit tense at Kickette HQ. We won’t deny it. Punches Words have been exchanged. Handbags have been thrown. Hip dips have been cried over.
In this kind of situation, usual advice would be to evacuate the area while the riot squad move in, but it’s way too late for that. Ladies, grab yourself a bucket of espresso, a nail file and a fistful of Inter Milan’s Marko Arnautovic (above) and follow us over the jump for more.
Psst. Better get out of the way, Marko, or we’ll consume you and your provocative little tummy like so much chocolate cake.
Image via EQ
Apologies for our party tardiness. The F5 melee that was last week caused us to need intravenous alcohol…which caused us to hit the ‘snooze’ button on the alarms one too many times.
We weren’t the only ones interested in analyzing Pep Guardiola and Jose Mourinho’s sideline style and behaviour during the Champions League games last week. (Though we will say that we give Pep the fash-points.)
As is per usual, rather than us giving any sort of researched, fact-checked or remotely professional results post, here are four things we happened to notice during the first-leg of the semis:
1. Goalkeeper Eye-candy was at a Premium
By far the strongest showing of sex from goalkeepers all tournament, the first-leg ties of the CL semifinals had us swooning for Victor Valdes (Barcelona), and Julio Cesar (Inter Milan). Coming in at a close, cute second for us was Bayern Munich’s Hans-Joerg Butt. Before you ask – yes, we giggled at his surname, too.