'MLS' Category

Weekend Results: Blatantly Bottled…By Us


Image: Reuters.

There’s no butts about our game watching habits this weekend – we simply gave our slimming selves complimentary passes to forgo our regular homework.

What an arousing, aggravating and action-packed weekend we picked to skip, so we’ve been told.

Fill us in on any or all the things you found pretty, peculiar or just plain mad from the last two days, puhlease Kickettes? We can’t promise we’ll be anymore attentive after the fact, but it’ll help distract us from Park Ji-Sung’s frog-juice drinking habits.

LA Galaxy: Turn Up The Heat


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We’d like brazilian hottie Marcelo Sarvas to come flex his shirtless BBQ skills (1:07) at Kickette HQ starting this May. He and our cabana boy would be the perfect summer fling partners in crime.

Dan Kennedy: His Hands Are Full & So Are Our Eyes


Feel free to indulge yourself in DK’s delightfully round calves @ 0:20. We did. Cheers SM!

Chivas goalkeeper Dan Kennedy is a multi-tasker. Not only can he deliver genuine lines about how the American Youth Soccer Organisation (AYSO) helped him earlier in his career whilst smiling widely, but he also knows how to simultaneously plant naughty subliminal images in our minds with a simple shake of his hips.

There’s other hidden gems sprinkled throughout this PSA that we wish we could point out, but we’ve been told AYSO is an organisation that benefits the kiddies, so we gotta keep our video review as PG as possible.

Which is why we’re going to stop talking now and let you examine Dan’s assets in motion all on your own.

Lazy Links & Randoms


Stu Holden is filming his rehab for Kick TV. Highlights include Stu falling into a pool, Stu laughing and Stu doing a multitude of other endearing things in front of his camera woman – rumoured to be his girlfriend. Kickette soldier boys and girls gather.


Also on the Kick channel right now for your viewing assessment is one of our own fearless editors. Her bad hair day from last week is here and she asks you lot go gently on her because we sure haven’t.


Adil Rami is said to be ‘flattered’ by the connection between him and a move to Barcelona. We’d like to know his thoughts and feelings about being linked to our bedrooms.


Portlandia: To Noob Or Not To Noob?


Image: mlssoccer.com, George Frey/Getty Images.

Where do you stand on soccer ’noobs’, Kickettes?

The reason we ask is that the guys behind IFC’s ‘Portlandia’ comedy show have applied their satirical eye to the subject of over-enthusiastic but hopelessly inexperienced fans, with stars Fred Armison (Saturday Night Live) and Carrie Brownstein (Wild Flag, Sleater Kinney) heading on down to Jeld-Wen Field for the first time, to show some love to the Timbers.