'MLS' Category

MLS Play-Offs: What You Need To Know


Image: Kyle Rivas/Getty Images North America.

For those Kickettes who reside outside the United States of America, the celebratory shenanigans above might imply that Houston Dynamos have just won the World Cup. They haven’t, of course. They’re not eligible.


Good Week/Bad Week: Warnings & Wine Worries


Image Credit: FlynetPictures.com.

What did we learn this week, Kickettes?

After careful consideration of all the available information, we all decided that Team GB was in fact a brilliant idea, although not necessarily for footballing reasons. That our tolerance to drink driving offences is inversely proportional to our tolerance of alcohol abuse.

Oh, and we really like pictures of bottoms. Regardless of who they belong to.

Who knew?


MLS Playoff Results: Well, Who Do We Have Here?


This photo of Aurelien Collin kind of gives away the winner of Wednesday’s 2nd leg tie between Sporting Kansas City and the Colorado Rapids, but we’re fine with it.

Yes, he and his Sporting KC team-mates are moving on in the MLS Playoffs. They’ll play the first of two games on Sunday, squaring off against a ‘scrappy’ Houston Dynamo side that ended the Farfan twins/Philadelphia Union’s dreams of hitting it big time** 3-1 on aggregate.

And so the later game of that day will see Real Salt Lake take on the LA Galaxy, after each team held off threatening advances from the Seattle Sounders and New York Red Bulls, respectively.

Our predictions for the next stage of the playoffs? Kyle Beckerman has some sort of shirtless tussle with David Beckham that Robbie Keane is forced to get in the middle of. That would make for a quality result for both sides.

Missed any of the games? Catch up with the MLS here.

**That being a front page Sizzle Query.

MLS Results: Playoff Promises


Fredy Montero throws it all at the ball during Seattle Sounders’ unsuccessful trip to Real Salt Lake. It worked out pretty well for us, though. Image: George Frey/Getty Images North America.

All the pictorial action from the first legs of the MLS playoffs is right here, cupcakes. The decisive second leg games commence tomorrow (exciting bracket thingy here for information purposes) so lap it while you can because on Friday we will be hungover as all hell and unprepared for another recap.


Good Week/Bad Week: Grumpy Pumpy


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NSYNC they ain’t, but K-PB’s got some chords on him, no? via dirtytackle.

You lot have been so moody this week! First, your response to Christine Bleakley’s new fitness DVD can only be described as ‘mixed’, then you disturbed us by referring to Andre Villas Boas as a ‘ginger stallion‘, before taking serious exception to Revista Cuore’s assertion that The Ramos™ is ugly.

Luckily, we managed to curry favour with photographs of Fernando Llorente playing a clarinet, but it was touch-and-go there for a moment.

We hope our review of the week doesn’t upset you. We fear certain aspects of it might…