'MLS' Category

MLS Results: Millinery & Mild Nudity

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Someone in this pile is wearing Tim Ream‘s genitalia like a hat. How nice. Image: Mike Stobe/Getty Images North America.

It’s taken several hours of screaming, sulking, bribery and threats to stop our resident photoshopper from producing an anatomically correct illustration of the above caption.

Honestly? We feel like we’ve done you a favour.

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Brek Shea: Displaced By A Donkey

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You’d think that a semi-naked Brek Shea would be the star of any photo, wouldn’t you? Sorry, Brek. No dice in this one. Image via espn.

We found this video of Brek Shea and FC Dallas finding their inner farm boys at the bottom of the Kickette Halloween dressing up box. The shoot for Model Citizen happened just over a year ago but the tape must have been scooped up with the costumes during our attempt to hide the evidence.

That’s our story anyway.

Ben Olsen: Sad But Studly On The Sidelines

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Image Credit: Ben Keller / dcunited.com.

You know an MLS game is a thriller when even we are compelled to find an illegal live feed of the action.

DC United MLS manager hotAlthough it’s not much of a consolation prize for a large and vocal pool of American soccer fans, but here’s a gratuitous shot of D.C. United’s youngish manager, Ben Olsen. While he was ruing his team’s postseason-ending loss last night, we were kicking ourselves for not discovering this cutie patootie sooner.

But there’s always next year, right DCU supporting Kickettes?

Charlie Davies: Legal Entanglements

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Image: Jeff Golden/Getty Images.

It has been reported that D.C. United striker Charlie Davies is suing the owner of the nightclub for serving alcohol to a woman who then went on to cause the accident that almost ended his career.

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MLS Results: Reprovals, Rewards & Retirements

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Kickettes! Avert your eyes. While manlove is an acceptable part of goal celebrations, we fear that Sebastian Grazzini of Chicago Fire is about to take things a little too far. Image: Ned Dishman/Getty Images North America.

It’s almost impossible for us to accurately disseminate all the goings-on in the MLS into the kind of informative, exciting post you have come to expect from us.

As usual, we didn’t even bother making sense of all the recent games since when someone sets us up to fail, we seize the opportunity to take our chill pills. So just look at the pictures instead and rejoice in our hot streak!

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