Thanks (in part) to MC’s goal scoring and karate specialties, his squad defeated LA Galaxy last night 3-0. Cheers to @KerryBakes for the tip.
Who really knows the answer to our headline riddle, but in the above demonstration we learn that Portland Timbers’ no. 4 can actually kung-fu chop a whole log. If we assess the damage per the usual 1 – 10 rating system, we give Mike a 6.5. His form is on point, and he brings a certain level of jumping-beans-in-his-pants enthusiasm to the charade. But overall, something about that wood looks a bit wonk to us.
Then again, what do we really know about forests and trees anyway?! The last time we encountered a bushel of green was at uni, when we decided it was time to take the edge off of finals. But that’s neither here nor there.
All photos courtesy of the New England Revolution.
As any faithful Kickette knows, if you invite us to an event that centers around alcohol consumption, we’ll be the first ones to show. And if we can drunkenly empty our wallets for charity instead of those ill-advised 2 AM curry fries, all the better. Throw in the ability to bribe footballers with cash for said charity in order to facilitate shirt removal? We’re camping out the night before.
Sounds like a recipe for Kickette disaster, but for the first time in awhile, our night didn’t end in an arrest. Score!
Here’s a pure football pairing we wholeheartedly support: Seattle Sounders midfielder, Servando Carrasco, and USWNT player, Alex Morgan, are dating. For the past 3.5 years, actually!
No need to apologise for the short shorts, Robbie baby. Regardless of size, shape, pattern or colour, footballers in swim trunks are always good in this hood.
Although yours should’ve come out more in this video, rather than making their grand entrance nearly 1 minute and 9 seconds into a +3 minute video.