'MLS' Category

The Tuesday Torso: Josh Wolff, D.C. United

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Former Sporting KC striker/D.C. United newbie, Josh Wolff, set the shirt-stripping bar high this year during United’s home opener against Columbus Crew. Not only did he wisely chose flesh flashing over yellow cards during his goal celebration, but he also allowed an audience of mere mortals to stroke his six-pack. Image: Chris Leon/D.C. United

Good Week/Bad Week: Tomfoolery & Taxis

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GOOD WEEK

Whacked Out Warm-Up: AC Milan fans were distracted from their programme reading and pre-match routines (above) by a bunch of actors purporting to be players and arsing around on the pitch during the ‘team’ warm-up before the Bari game last weekend. Activities including grass swimming and frisbee were enacted, but the whole thing was apparently a set-up by Gazzetta dello Sport to promote their paper. Better than cheerleaders though, no? via dirtytackle

Stockton-area pubs/clubs patrons: Your local watering holes will remain Lee Cattermole-free for another year. Hurrah!

Crisis? What crisis?: From a goalkeeping point of view, many Arsenal fans might argue that this story belongs firmly in the ‘Bad Week’ section, but from an entertainment (and neutral) perspective, the return of Jens Lehmann to the Gunners fold is about as good as it gets. The unpredicable German has been signed on a monthly rolling contract after Wojciech Szczesny suffered a dislocated finger in the game against Barcelona. We await his first appearance with interest.

Image: Jasper Juinen/Getty Images Europe/Zimbio

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Charlie Davies: Sports Illustrated & Stanky Leg Statements

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Looking healed and happy to be making his highly-anticipated return to the U.S. soccer scene, D.C. United’s on-loan lad, Charlie Davies, is featured in the newest issue of Sports Illustrated - in which he says he’s come full circle since his horrific October 2009 car accident.

Speaking with with Grant Wahl, Davies revealed the spectrum of emotions he expects to feel during his debut (possibly United’s 19 March home opener vs. Columbus Crew):

“Will I be sad? Happy? Nervous? If I score a goal, will I break down and cry? Will that signal [my] getting over the mountaintop? Will I dance? Yes, I will dance.”

Will he be too nervous to get dressed that day? We sure hope so.

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Good Week/Bad Week: Girl Crushes & Law Brushes

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Is Rangers’ El Hadji Diouf trying to give Celtic’s Kris Commons a kiss? Probably not. (Image: Reuters/Daylife)

Our weekly look at the whys and wherefores of the seven days past.

Good Week

-Boosted Bosoms: Sara C. proudly flashed her shiny new enhancements this week – and, without trying to sound pervy (yeah, right) - we found them to be…nice. Meanwhile, former UK Big Brother contestant also unleashed her new ‘assets’. We found them to be… not nice.

Conclusion? We’re boob snobs.

- Happy Days: Noemie Lenoir was photographed looking relaxed and uber gorgeous on a sunshine break in Miami, having put last year’s problems firmly behind her.

Goal-den Boy: Also on the up was Nicklas Bendtner, who scored a hat-trick in Arsenal’s 5-0 FA Cup replay win over Leyton Orient. Now he’s looking forward to doing the same against Barca. Ahem.

Bad Week

- Same old, same old: Rangers had three players sent off during their bad tempered Scottish Cup game with Celtic. Regular viewers of the SPL will not be surprised to learn that El Hadji Diouf was among them.

- Getting Smashed: West Brom defender Jonas Olsson was forced to apologise to Stoke City after breaking a picture in the tunnel after Monday’s 1-1 EPL draw. In the great scheme of player related ass-hattery this week, it’s not exactly up there, but still.

- Barnet Bumbling: The ongoing saga of David Beckham’s hair took an interesting turn this week, when he availed himself of a trim (left) and was promptly accused of mimicking Bobby Charlton’s famous comb-over. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)

Eek!

QOTD: Thierry Henry On Passion & Pick-Up Games

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MLS hot players

Image: Red Bulletin.

“I love the game and always will. When I started playing, I never thought of becoming a professional player at all. I just wanted to play. People are always shocked when they see me playing with my friends or with my father and brother, because we play so hard. When we play, you can forget all that father, son, brother stuff. It’s all about the ball. You want the ball? Then try to get it off me. That’s the nature of the game.”

The New York Red Bulls’ star failed to mention another inherent aspect of the game – clothing removal.

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If you’re dying to know Monsieur Henry’s thoughts on playing in the MLS, among other things, you can read his full interview with Red Bulletin here.