'MLS' Category

Tyler Ruthven: Would You?

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We aren’t sure if we could cope with his eyebrows in between waxing appointments, but Mr. Ruthven has his fans out there. We know this because they continue to spam our inboxes with urgent requests for the Kickette Army to review and rate the Red Bulls defender.

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QOTD: Landon Donovan On Money, Power & Respect

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When I was younger, I was motivated by different things. I wanted to score all the time, I wanted to be famous, I wanted to be popular, I wanted to make money. I wanted to do all of those things, but at the end of it all, those things don’t do a lot for you.”

Landon, trust us. You’re obviously doing it wrong. Let us guide you.

Jay DeMerit: Paying The Price, Pitch Side

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Image: Jessica Haydahl/Getty Images.

Frisked for Bieber CDs mid-game?

You brought this on yourself, Jay. With a little help from your friends, of course.

Sporting Kansas City: Open Cup, Open For Business

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Image: Twitter. H/T @Gay4Soccer.

Let us quickly state for the record, although we enjoy seeing the events that unfolded after yesterday’s Open Cup final, we are rather shocked by the fugliness of the winners’ undergarments. Usually we look forward to locker room celebrations with glee and HD anticipation. Today, not so much.

Still, onwards and upwards.

New ‘Ballers In Town: Mike Chabala & Aleandro Rosi

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Aleandro Rosi, now of Parma FC. You likey? Images: D&G; Marco Luzzani/Getty Images Europe.

Fans of sexy footy players lining up alongside one another, good news: D.C. United’s (newly crowned hottest 2012 MLS All-Star player by our lurvely readers) Chris Pontius will soon be standing well-chiseled shoulder to well-chiseled shoulder with Mike Chabala, whose trade from Portland Timbers was just announced. Mr Chabala stands at an erect 6’0″, is “good for the gays” says Gay4Soccer.com and has previously been lauded around these parts for his wood chopping talents and environmentally friendly fashion forwardness.

Watch this space and get to know Mike a little better, Kickettes.

Intimately if you can.

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