The quest to determine the hottest ‘baller not named Beckham in the MLS is a long and treacherous one, filled with much analysis of thunder thighs, large wage packets and appropriate hair gel usage. Our honourable journey has caused a massive debate amongst our devotees, and now even the players want in.
Consider yesterday’s Adidas video the appeteaser to today’s all you can drool buffet. We aren’t even phased by his weird hair since this profile on Brek informs us that he has 5% body fat.
Do you dig?
Adidas football unveiled it’s latest innovation today – the micoach Elite system – which will track players physical conditions in realtime. As one of our staffers learned at the presser, Major League Soccer clubs will be the first to don these mini devices on their clothing.
There’s all these fancy bells, whistles and shiny things inside the compact piece of hardware – including a GPS tracker/locator. So essentially, if a player like Chris Pontius forgets to take off his sweaty kit upon arriving home after practice, that GPS will do your dirty work.
Brilliant.
Beckham aside (‘cos that’d be just too easy), who’s the best-looking MLS All-Star player? Is it classic Californian Dan Kennedy, wavy-haired Graham Zusi, steel-jawed Jay DeMerit, ab-tastic Heath Pearce, 2010 Cosmo bachelor Chris Pontius, bizarre fashion advisor Aurélien Collin or the perpetually-stylish Thierry Henry?
Rather than use our usual lengthy algorithms that take pitch prowess, chin dimples and astrology into consideration, we’ve gone old school and simply created a photo gallery of players who we believe will truly make this year’s All Star game a more beautiful thing.
Have the people at Guglielmo Winery in California been sampling too much of their own product?
We only ask because we can’t figure out why else they would they be selling tickets to a wine tasting session and dinner in a tent, during which the San Jose Earthquakes players will be acting as celebrity bartenders and a free-for-all grape stomp is in the offing.
Wait, what? Charity? For the benefit of the San Jose Earthquakes Community Fund that facilitates and supports programs that produce positive change for children and families in the local area?
Oh. Well, that’s OK then. Perhaps there’s a chance that the event won’t descend into the kind of embarrassing naked free-for-all we initially anticipated.
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