Kickette – Soccer/football gossip, hot players and the WAGs that love them

Bank Holiday Baller Bylines: Patrice Evra & Dimitar Berbatov

Image: AP Photo via Daylife

Patrice Evra: And here we see Dimitar, modelling the latest in obtrusive base layers. You will note the stretchiness of the fabric is sufficient to hint at the abdominal muscles nestling on Dimitar’s tummy, but coverage is such that any further visual probing is both pointless and inordinately frustrating. We therefore recommend that such base layers be gathered into a huge pile and burned until they are dead.

Thank you.

Bubbas & ‘Ballers: Sergio & Benjamin Agüero

Can you believe how little Benji has grown? And he’s awake! Hurrah! Image via Sergio’s official twitter.

In The Stands: Schalke’s Edu, Raul & Metzelder

Oh dear. Looks like the definitive verdict on Gomez’s lederhosen is in. If Raul says it, it’s law.

Bubbas & ‘Ballers: Luis Suarez With Delfina

Baby Delfina! She hasn’t even grown eyelashes yet and here she is on the pitch! Are you dying? We’re dying. Bless her tiny, (seriously they’re the size of his thumb), cotton socks. Image via ProShots/ ONTD Football.

Bayern Munich: Making Lederhosen Look Good

Upon learning of Peter Crouch’s latest infraction, the German WAGs ensure their men will have no opportunity to stray. Image via Daylife/AP Photo

Ryan Giggs: Don’t Worry About The Dongle

No, Giggsy, we will not be mature.

We don’t care if you’re going to look at us with a (sexy) side eye of disgust, with even your chewing gum frozen mid-chew in contempt at our childishness. You’re sitting in front of a sign that says “dongle”.

If we didn’t post this, the universe would have folded in on itself. We couldn’t take that risk. Blame Virgin trains, not us.

Hee.

Transfer Totty: Roque Santa Cruz

We sincerely hope you’ve been saving your pennies, Kickettes. Former F5er Roque Santa Cruz has been put up for sale by Manchester City. It’s high time we bought a footballer, and we think Mr. Cruz would make a damn good place to start our personal collection.

The Midweek Mmm: Frank Lampard, Chelsea