Hello? ACME Firearms? Can you put me through to the Massive Gun Dept, please? Image: PacificCoastNews.com.
We have nothing to say.
Oh, wait. Maybe a couple of things…
It’s no secret that Stephen Ireland and the mainstream media are not bezzie mates. After all, his chavtastic cars and homes have been well documented and ruthlessly mocked, but he’s perhaps most well known for flagrantly fabricating the deaths of his relatives – plural – just to avoid being collared on a trip with the national team.
Little did we know, though, that he and the Irish FA/Giovani Trapattoni/etc made amends over an extra frothy cappucino and some choco-chip biscotti. At least, that’s what Jessica Lawlor would like us to imagine.
First Adelaide Kingson was a witch who used black magic to sabotage her goalkeeping husband’s time in the Prem, then she wasn’t, then it was the false spirits’ faults and now she can’t even recall going TV to explain how she used her “evil powers to trouble” her husband.
Other important points of this story: the former Blackpool player’s wife initially claimed to have put a hex on her husband’s skillz, she went as far as making Richard impotent just for funsies, we don’t know why she’d want to do that, Adelaide no longer poses any immediate threat to her partner since her inner demons vanished and Richard should sleep with one eye open at all times just in case.
For Kickette HQ, coffee is currency.
Ditto for good hair days.
Aston Villa’s Petrov went on record yesterday to confirm he is now in remission from the disease that left his footie career in limbo.
Although the Bulgarian footballer was not able to greet the AV club masseurs who completed a 400-mile charity cycle ride (in honour of Leukaemia and Lymphoma Research) at the finish line, he did send a message of gratitude to all those who supported him during this difficult time:
“I’m fine. It’s been hard and tough so far but, thankfully, everything is going in the right direction. I’ve been looked after really well by the people in the hospital. I’m really grateful to them and to all of the people who have sent me messages of support.”
Good news indeed, Kickettes.
BTW, if you’d like to support the Pedal for Petrov challenge, you can donate via the JustGiving page or text “STAN91 £3″ to 70070.