'Player News' Category

Alex Song: Superficial Musings About Barcelona’s New Signing

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Images: David Ramos/Getty Images.

Why is the state of Alex Song’s hair “don’t” not coming up in any relevant discussions? Across the web you can read about conspiracy transfer theories, this past weekend’s results and how to spot a knock off handbag. Yet nary a single person or pundit is (correctly) questioning what in the world was happening on the head of still-sizzling-in-spite-of-the-poorly-designed-and/or-executed do, Alex, at his official Barcelona presentation earlier today.

Kickettes, clearly the ownness falls on you to discuss. Do us proud, please.

And on a more serious note: Arsenal fans, is the 2012/13 football season breaking your heart faster than you can say “chewing gum on my Louboutins”?

Good Week/Bad Week: Sobriety & Strokable Statues

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Image: Getty Images For H&M.

We know, we know.

So much has been happening in the world of football and we’ve posting items as frequently as, well, as very backasswards neglectful blog posterettes would’ve done.

Funny that.

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Robin van Persie: Once An Adorkable, Now A Red Devil

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Image: NBA Photoshops via ESPN.com.

The van Persie family is officially headed north for McMansions and WAG inner circles anew. Not totally sure how Arsenal fans are taking the news, but we’re confident they’ll let the Dutch international know when they travel to Old Trafford on 3 November and again when their former captain returns to Emirates Stadium for the first time as a visitor on 27 April. Our guess is it will take some loudly orchestrated boos from the crowd, pushy shovey action on the pitch and team-wide shirtless exchanges after each match before bygones will be bygones.

Wonderful.

Now, let’s try erasing the months of this back and forth transfer saga that took years off our lives and the high sheen gloss off our love for RvP as we wave buh-bye.

What Not To Wear: Stephan El Sharawy, Italy

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We think Stephan El Sharawy’s hair has drifted all the way through ‘cool’ and is headed straight for a split non-style decision between the ‘buffon’ and the ‘androgynous pompadour’ looks.

Show of hands if you agree?

Image: Paolo Bruno/Getty Images.

QOTD: Landon Donovan On Money, Power & Respect

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When I was younger, I was motivated by different things. I wanted to score all the time, I wanted to be famous, I wanted to be popular, I wanted to make money. I wanted to do all of those things, but at the end of it all, those things don’t do a lot for you.”

Landon, trust us. You’re obviously doing it wrong. Let us guide you.