'Player News' Category

Prima Donna Players: Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy


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A “must do” checklist for footballers seeking prima donna status:

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- Invest in a fleet of flash cars that can travel faster than the speed of light, crash at least one of them.

- Get drunk off £400 bottles of bubbly, often.

- Holiday in Ibiza/Sardinia.

- Go on the Z-lister pull.

Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Edit


In another case of old relationships coming back to haunt you, Danny Simpson’s baby mamma Stephanie (who claims to be pregnant with their second child) has accused him of cheating on her with pop songstress, sex tapestress and X Factor judgestress, Tulisa, towards the end of their relationship. Separately, Krystal Benjamin (his alleged side, side piece) accused the right back of cheating on Stephanie throughout their 10 month long fling (which supposedly included jibberish sexts and free flights to the Southampton home he shared with Stephanie for late night romps). Jenny Thompson is also mixed up in the mess (and also pregnant, but not with his child) because – c’mon – how could she not be involved in this love quadrangle somehow?

Over the weekend Danny finally went on the public defense, insisting everyone around him knows the truth about these sordid tabloid stories.

It’s safe to say these allegations have really taken the jam out of gossip-loving doughnut this morning.


John Terry: Ball Check!


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See also: VdV’s self-adjustment style. Credit: Michael Steele/Getty Images Europe.


Zlatan Ibrahimovic: How Do You Like Him Now?


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ICYMI: Zlatan doesn’t do trials.

ICYMI, II: Watch Shebra’s amazing goal from yesterday’s 4-2 friendly win over England.

Oh, Snap: Michael Essien’s Bothersome Bunions


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Image: Yahoo Sport UK.

Michael Essien played against Zaragoza with a problem on his foot: bunions. He’s said to have experienced ‘uncomfortable pain’ which will be a priority on his healthwatch list from now on.

Speaking of unsightly growths on one’s body, we can (and frequently do) criticise with the best of them. And, let’s be real here people: when it comes to footballers, their feet rank second in funky only to ballerinas. That’s a whole ‘lotta bruises, broken toenails and hammertime tootsies to come to terms with.

But wow. It’s a slow news day when bunions garner a story of their very own.