'Player News' Category

Transfer Totty: Killing Us Softly

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marco di vaio

Image: D&G.

So, wow, there is like, nothing happening in the world of football. Other than the odd pre-season training and MLS suspension, obviously. But in terms of some good gossip, quality photos of thunder thighs, or just a nice shot of a WAG getting out of a limo without knickers on, we’ve got nothing.

Okay, so we did read how 37-year-old Alessandro Nesta is relocating to Montreal to play for the Impact next year. And how him signing for the Canadian club will allow him to high five his fellow hottie Italians Marco Di Vaio, Bernardo Corradi and Matteo Ferrari on the reg.

Still. We have the ability to exist for years solely on jam sandwiches and photos of David on all fours, but this all rings hollow for us today.

Kickettes, is the ennui of the looming transfer window making you insane yet? Luka Modric to Real MadridOlivier Giroud to Arsenal? Jordi Alba to Barcelona? Robin van Persie to ____? Someone put us out of our misery until late August? Please?

Style Off: Tim Hoogland vs Gigi Buffon

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Images: FRANZISKA KRAUFMANN/AFP/GettyImages; ELVIS BARUKCIC/AFP/GettyImages.

Allow us to pre-empt today’s fash reportage with a disclaimer: plaid rhymes with mad, which is exactly how the pattern makes us feel. Because of this unwavering truth, we’re obviously hating on both of these looks hardcore. But, since it’s a slow news day, we must take what we’re given.

So people, which player in plaid do you prefer: Stuttgart’s latest signing, Tim Hoogland, or Italian NT/Juventus keeper, Gigi Buffon?

Idle threat: the day Tim wins this contest will be the day we start calling Ronaldinho attractive. And dear readers, you do not want that day to come in your lifetime.

Edinson Cavani & Diego Lugano: Weary Washboard Travellers

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We thought we were still suffering from jet lag induced double vision when we saw this picture of Uruguayan teamies Edinson Cavani and Diego Lugano hanging out on the beach in Miami.

Luckily a couple of our HQ whipping boys had enough about them to fetch a large net, and the pair are now boxed up and travelling in a badly driven van towards Kickette Island where we intend to give them a thorough debriefing.

This may take awhile, so if we’re not back by tomorrow, keep on waiting.

David & Victoria Beckham: Marriage & Anger Management Mediators

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Foul-mouthed chef, crying child handler and court side seat sitter, Gordan Ramsay, recently opened up about the trials and tribulations of his marriage, family and businesses, and surprisingly he credited he and wife Tana’s Los Angeles bezzies, David and Victoria, for helping them through the past few rough years.

Speaking to The Sun, Ramsay said:

“David and Victoria were just extraordinary in terms of help and support during this time…They were really great…there’s no doubt it was a personal blow for me, but you regroup and come back. Tana and I have never been so close.”

Now, Gordon and D-Becks have been matey for years, so the idea of these two hashing out their probs in a drinking den over the celebrity chef’s fine food is something we can buy into.

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Dating: Thomas Vermaelen & Polly Parsons

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english premier league wag welcome the club

Images: Getty; Google.

We’re really not happy to say this on today of all days, but according to Peter Andre, Arsenal’s Thomas Vermaelen is dating his mate, the Real Hustle presenter Polly Parsons.

Psquared – who was previously engaged to Sid Owen of EastEnders - first met the 26-year-old Belgian defender at a surprise party for his team-mate, Robin van Persie. By mid month last month rumours swirled about the pair steadily seeing one another, but alas, we can now confirm Peter and Polly are as desperate for publicity as Kerry Katona and David Gest.

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