'Player News' Category

The Monday Mmm: Cristiano Ronaldo Wins It

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Image: polfoto.

Cristiano’s sizzling hot season just gets better and better.

This weekend the Man United star was named PFA Player of the Year, and Young Player of the Year. In your face half-hotties and non-divers, he rules!

Note the superior, smug expression that can only be worn by those with thighs of thunder, stonking hot good looks and designer man bags.

Congratulations C-dawg, nice one.

Rio Ferdinand Gets Diddy With It

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Rio Ferdinand and Diddy recently got together for a joint artist-to-artist interview for The Hook Up.

Not sure exactly how Rio qualifies as an artist, but whatevs – details, details. 

We only made it through the first five seconds of the video (discovered at The Offside), so if anything interesting happens, please let us know.  The introductions were so painful we had to go do some urgent shoe shopping to get the bad taste out of our brains.

The two are also working together to produce an anti-violence concert next year in the UK.

Link: Diddy and Rio Artist on Artist

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Dwight Yorke: Baby Mama Drama

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Sunderland’s Dwight Yorke is living in a world of baby mama drama and it’s getting overpopulated.

After a well-publicised fall out with glamour model Jordan, with whom he shares a son, Harvey, Dwight is now in the midst of a truly icky situation with his current girlfriend, Naomi Smith.

His current pregnant girlfriend Naomi Smith, who has just been rumbled as having a three-year affair with an assistant pro-golfer named Darren Sorrell.

To rub a little salt into the wound, it looks like Dwight has been signing the cheques for the two lovebirds.  A friend close to the couple said “He [Darren] loved the lifestyle he had by being with her. The clothes, posh restaurants. All of which are funded by Dwight.”

Naomi apparently had a stylish apartment she used to shack up with Darren, paid for by Dwight’s cash.  She also bought her bit-on-the side a car and took him on vacations.

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Off the Market: John Terry

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photo: rex
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It’s time to break out those romance novels and candy hearts, Kickettes, the summer of love is rapidly approaching. 

Or, alternatively, you could say the summer of pre-nuptials, tacky hats and selling images of your love to the tabloids for millions of pounds is nigh.

Michael Carrick, Steven Gerrard and Gary Neville are all getting married on June 16. 

No, not to each other you silly ninnies. 

Perhaps we missed the news piece on why exactly June 16 is such a romantic day in the calendar.  It may have something to do with the fact that the football season is 900 weeks long and there are very few Saturdays available to do the deed, but ‘tis strange indeed.

Anyhoo, Chelsea’s John Terry and his long-time fianc

The Bored Files: Tomas Rosicky

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It’s a slow news day and everyone is either annoying us or is very unattractive.

For example:

We’ve always been believers in the Deny To Infinity methodology for infidelity, meaning: if you get caught, deny until the day you die.  Deny to the point of actually believing your own denial, thus making it much more authentic.  However, there are certain cases where our strategy may not be successful.

Arsenal midfielder Tomas Rosicky has been cold busted partying with half a dozen prostitutes by his girlfriend, Czech model Radka Kocurova.  Apparently she has seen photographic evidence of this over-populated incident.

We would tell you more about this story, but as we said above: unattractive/annoying. If you want to see what Tomas looks like, Google him, cuz we sure as hell aren’t gonna do it.

Link: Rosicky Girl Hooker Party Rage