'Player News' Category

Frank Lampard: The Blogger



We’re making it a point to not mention the England/Israel game  this weekend.  Because, yeesh, why bother.  We also won’t mention that Chelsea’s Frank Lampard hasn’t scored an international goal since Thriller was in the charts. 

Instead, we’re going to focus on the positives: when he’s doing all that non-scoring, Frank can dodge a mean fist and hand out credit cards whilst wearing silver shoes. 

And? He can blog. 

Since we discovered Frank’s guest blog on Orange Sport, we can’t stop imagining Frank pouring out his heart on a new MacBook Pro in a pair of boxers, cup of milky tea at his side, marble fireplace set to moody reflection, but in reality he’s probably dictating it to one of his reps whilst on the treadmill at the club.  Which is actually equally stimulating. 

But let us get to the writing.  Although Frank doesn’t have a natural way with words, reading his posts give an interesting, albeit edited, look into the world of the Lamps:

He’s superstitious, throwing away his boots after a particularly bad match, and always putting his right boot and right pad on first. 

He’s listening to Razorlight and a mix of R&B in the dressing room.


“Being a parent, though, has certainly changed my priorities. It makes you less selfish. I used to come home from training, flick the telly on and do my own thing. Now I’m really excited to come home from training to see my child Luna. I love being with her, she makes me laugh. My priority has completely moved to her and my girlfriend.“

After reading the above, we have to bring out the phrase we swore we would never, ever, use in this lifetime.  But it has to be said:


Loving the Lamps right now, Kickettes.  Loving the sucky international that is the Lamps.

Link: Frank Lampard Guest Blogger – Orange Sport

VIP: Stephen Gerrard Gets an MBE


Image: Rex.

Stephen Gerrard and Margaret Thatcher – sorry, Alex Curran, at Buckingham Palace.  Mr. G was there to receive an MBE (Members of the Order of the British Empire) for his outstanding contribution to sport.

Alex’s hair gives more than any words could ever say.

WTF Files: Frank Lampard Attacked

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Here’s the thing about football.  Many of the people who watch it are complete idiots.

And by idiots, we mean tossers.  Nitwits.  With extra toes and/or unbrushed teeth.

At the Tottenham/Chelsea FA cup match on Wednesday, a fan/lunatic/dumb ass ran onto the pitch and threw a punch at Frank Lampard. This Frank Lampard, he of cute-baby-holding-while-the-wife-tears-through-the-credit-cards fame.

Luckily, Frank ducked and dived and avoided his face connecting with the fist of a random hooped up hooligan.  All whilst shirtless.

Nice one Frank.

By the way, the unidentified attacker got the living snot beat out of him afterwards, so all is well.

For more, check out the video at The Offside

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Beck Talk: Acting, Fake-Acting and Observing


image: splash
imageThe bloody Beckham lookalikes (who we may have mentioned we wish would just die/fall off a jagged cliff into the sea) are back.  They flew their tired asses over to Hollywood for a little Becks jock-riding and photo opportunities.

Link: Beckham Target For Imposters

A little while ago when David Beckham’s move to the LA Galaxy was first being reported, and everyone with a mouth and an opinion was discussing the decision, fashion designer Giorgio Armani was quoted as saying, “He has done the right thing by moving. And I think he wants to be an actor, not a soccer player.“  In response to all the press, David said, “It would be very difficult to be part of a film because I am not an actor and I never will be.“

Since then, David signed on to play a role as a British soldier in the film ‘Truce’, about a World War I football game between the English and German armies. Currently in development and slated to open in 2008, it’s directed by Vadim Perelman (House of Sand and Fog).

A production insider said: “Beckham has agreed to appear as a British soldier in the football scenes.  Although he is moving to Los Angeles, he has no great aspirations to become a major movie actor. But he loves making cameo appearances as a footballer.“

Oh, wait, hang on.  That doesn’t really count as acting, does it?

Previously Becks has had cameo appearances in Goal! and Goal!: 2 playing himself, kicking a ball. And for all the doubters/cynics, he was great at it.

Welsh actor Welsh actor Ioan Gruffudd, who lives in Hollywood, has offered to give Beckham acting lessons.  “I’m determined to become his acting coach,“ he told contactmusic.  We would advise Mr. Gruffudd that no one knows who the hell he is and to just go buy a season ticket to the Galaxy games as that’s the closest he’s going to get to working with his royal hotness.
Link: Becks Goes Up Front
Link:  Horatio Hornblower Offers Beckham Acting Lessons

David returned to his old haunt at Old Trafford to watch Manchester United win 4-3 over a star-filled European side celebrating 50 years of continental soccer play.  He was slotted to play in the historic match, but due to his injury had to settle for watching the game from the sidelines with Victoria.

Link: Beckham Bids Farewell To Man United Fans


Cristiano Ronaldo: Boogie Man


Cristiano is always in top form, but lately, yeesh, he is looking good on the pitch.

And this time we’re actually talking about his footy skills.  Team-mate Wayne Rooney was recently quoted saying he thinks the C-dawg is the best player in the world at the moment.

Cristiano hasn’t publicly mentioned if he agrees with Wayne or not, but he has been very clear about one area where he outshines the competition:


and dressing.

Okay, two areas.


In this month’s Vogue, when asked whether he goes out dancing on his nights off, he admits to going to clubs, but says, “I’m very different from the English lads.  I don’t need to drink alcohol before I can dance.  It’s natural to me, it’s what I do.“

Take a moment to imagine the dancefloor at a random “hot” nightclub in Anywhere, UK.  Cristiano and the Man U crew are kicking it in the VIP.  Champs is flowing, groupies are hovering; it’s on, ya’ll.  Suddenly, Beyonce comes blasting through the speakers.  Cristiano leaves a trail of drunken slow steppers in his wake as he takes over the dancefloor, white vest and slightly too tight jeans in effect, Lord of the Boogie-Dance.  All bow to his superior rhythm and grace as he performs a medley of moves that would cause Peter Crouch to retire his size 24 dancing shoes.

It could happen.

Later on in the interview, when talking about the launch of his upcoming clothing line, CR7, Cristiano says that hands down, the best dressed player at Manchester United is himself. 

It bears repeating: we love this man.  It’s impossible not to.