'Player News' Category

barton v everyone

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Joey Barton, hailing from the borough of Drop-Trow has beef with several individuals.

He thinks England skipper Steve McClaren should drop Steven Gerrard or Frank Lampard and let him get bi-zay on the England squad instead -the next England game is a friendly against Spain in Feb ‘07.

He’s released a rampage of high quality fightin’ words…

“I wouldn’t be like Lampard or Gerrard, who are superstars at their clubs and want the limelight at England.“

“I look at top footballers these days and they’ve lost touch with reality.“

“I’d say 90 per cent of them are from working class backgrounds but they play 100 games in the Premiership, get the car and the house and think they?re upper class. They surround themselves with hangers-on who tell them how wonderful they are every minute of the day and they lose any kind of perspective.“

Joey, honey? Look, well done on speaking your mind and the anger management classes and all that, but any more ish from you about spoiled, rich ballers living large, buying a seat on the nouveau riche train to glory and you’ll get a very pointy Choo in the eye.

Link: Joey Barton’s Damning Verdict

foot stompin’ good times: wayne rooney


image: getty

Wayne and Coleen were macking it at an NBA game in the New York a few days ago (Celtics v Knicks).

They even announced that Wayne was in the hi-zouse to the crowd of thousands, of which three people knew who the hell he was.

Then, a big ass long and tall basketball player fell on his foot.

But it’s all good. The foot is fine.

Just another day in the wild ride life of Mr. Rooney.

Link: Rooney Nearly Re-Injures Foot

Here’s a pic of Wayne and Coleen out at a UNICEF benefit looking mighty dapper. Getting stomped on by a big American obviously did him well.

haters: alex ferguson

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Whatever, Alex.

Man U boss Alex Ferguson has been talking about the players he’s worked with at Man U that he regards as “world class”.

And guess who’s on the list? 

Peter Schmeichel
Ryan Giggs
Eric Cantona

So far, so good, yes?

Wayne Rooney
Roy Keane

Paul Scholes and Cristiano Ronaldo were mentioned as some of his other favourites. Actually, he said: “To work with such people has been an absolute pleasure.“

Oh yes, he left David’s ass hanging in the breeze. He really did. And for that, Sir Alex, you are branded a hater.

We’re not discounting the other players – they’re all class acts, even if they’re gingers (PS), rage-filled (RK and WR) or Welsh (RG). But, pull-ease!

Side note: we still wish we could have been there when David got walloped with that footie boot in the Manu U dressing room. Can you imagine the grimacing, angry Becks face? *sigh* So, so good.

Link: Beckham Fails To Make Top Five

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southgate v ronaldo

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Middlesbrough manager Gareth Southgate is in some sort of girly hissy fit drama because he said Cristiano Ronaldo was a diver after winning a penalty in United’s 2-1 victory last Saturday.

On this we have several questions:

When did Gareth Southgate become a manager? Wasn’t he playing football like, 5 minutes ago?

Wasn’t he the guy who totally f’d up the penalty shoot out with Germany in Euro 96? Didn’t that lose England a place in the finals?

Should you really be allowed to comment on penalty kicks ever again, in the history of your life, or should you not just look into a nice cashier’s job at Boots?

And oh yeah, even though we know Cristiano’s history of “fair play”, we also are familiar with his face. And hot bot-tay. So, who’s side do you think we’re going to be on in this one?

Link: Southgate – Ronaldo’s A Cheat
Link: Ferguson Hits Back At “Naive” Southgate

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the WTF files: david james


Dearest David, ye of former friday fit fame:

Look, we support your need to be creative, we really do. It’s an admirable trait.

But after the reveal this weekend of la barnet?

We have to issue this formal statement:

Hair relaxer is not a toy.

It is not meant for male footy players, especially those gifted with good looks and a half-assed/mostly crappy talent for goal tending.

The comb-over style of hairdressing is for bald men clinging to their three strands of hair. You are not those men.

You could have worked it out. You could have gone with a short, spiky-ish, messy doo. You know, like 99% of the general population is wearing right now. Did you miss that memo?

Wanting to be different = good. This = bad.

Finally, knowing that the relaxer you used is called “Bold and Beautiful” ? Go play in the traffic, you big girl.