'Player News' Category

Fabs, Baller of the Year

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33-year-old Real Madrid defender, Fabio Cannavaro has been named European Footballer of the Year by France Football magazine.

We don’t know who the hell France Football magazine is, but winning the Ballon d’Or is a big deal in footy world.  Hey, any excuse to put up another photo of Mr. C,and we’ll take it.

Link: Cannavaro Wins Euro Player Award

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the infidelity files: zinedine zidane?

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Oh, the Zizou: he of little hair but of infinite fineness. What has he been getting up to?

Allegations, chit chat and nudge-nudge-wink-winks are flying around cyberspace about Mr. Zidane’s possible relationship with the soul singer Nadiya.

Nope, we’ve never heard of her either.

But she does happen to fall into the super-gorge category, though.

The two apparently got busted by magazine Voici coming out of a Paris apartment within minutes of each other – Z was “in disguise”.

So that’s a little shady. Or perhaps, they just share a manicurist.

We’re on the case & trying to dig up what we can, but getting information on this one isn’t proving easy. The French have some messed up laws about people’s private lives remaining private, so media info has been limited. And guess what? In France, they speak French. We do not. But we’re working on that too.

Nadiya has vehemently denied the allegations, (of course), but many in the bg say there’s no smoke without fire. Talk is, she’s not the first.

Part of Zidane’s charm has been his doting husband/father angle, so if anything comes out further on this it would be a huge, huge story. Imagine if someone like David Beckham was caught out having an affair with … oh, wait a minute.

Link: Zidane, The Pop Star And Rumours
Link: Nadiya’s Official Website

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the stalker files: cristiano ronaldo


Hot ass Cristiano Ronaldo has a stalker. We’re thinking it unusual this is only his first – surely a man with such thighs deserves at least 3 or 4 crazies. But no, just some random model-type from Holland who thinks that she’s the “love of his life”.

Don’t we all, luv.

So many broken promises, Cristiano… so many hearts.

Link: Ronaldo Talks Of His Stalker Hell

when dumbasses attack


It’s not easy being a random bloke in this world when such finery as Cristiano Ronaldo walk the earth amongst us lowly mortals.

For example, this idiotic jerkoff couldn’t handle it when his girlfriend said Cristiano was “gorgeous” and attacked her with a baseball bat. Quality guy, this.

He’s since been jailed for a year and a half, where we hope he enjoys many nights of affectionate cell-lovin from a tall, handsome Cristiano look-a-like, in for 10 years GBH.

Link: Ronaldo Bat Thug Is Jailed

news flash: marriage solves all personal issues

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Bulgarian premier leaguer Ivelin Popov has been ordered by his bosses to get married next year. Concerned that his behaviour is out of control, they think a nice ball and chain will work wonders to calm his fast ass down.

Let us pre-empt this reportage to ask: do these people actually know any footy players? Pushing marriage as a solution to errant ways? For real? We best be off to try and sell them the wonderful magic beans we found in the back garden.

Continuing on, surely Mr. Popov is just doing what comes natural for young ballers: they spend money like it’s tap water, gallivant ‘til dawn with the lay-dies and express anger in unmanaged angry ways. The dude is nineteen and making trailerloads of cash. His hormones are barely under his own control – how dare they try to put a stopper on his need to be an idiot?

Incredibly, Popov says he’s ready to settle down and will “accept the order.“

“Don’t remind me my past, please…I know I’m a very bad boy and I want to meet my 20th birthday as a married man.“

We’d love to give you more information about Ivelin’s exploits, but most of the stuff we found was in foreign languages, and we barely speak English as it is. In fact, we’re really quite scared to Google him, in case he’s an un-cutie, or worse, a ginger. We’re going to live with our chosen image of Popsy as a cross between Fabio Cannavaro and Zizou. Ah, that works nicely.

Link: Bulgarian Player Ordered To Get Married By Club

*UPDATE* So, we found the damn picture. We wish we hadn’t. Keep living happily in fantasy, or check him out here .

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