Oh Kickettes, what a few days it has been.
The Czech Republic, France, Greece and England all fought valiantly in their respective quarter finals, but found themselves sliding inexorably out of the tournament and into the ether anyway, like a brand new mobile phone handset might slip out of a handbag and ruin the week of those who depend upon it for their very sanity.
What were we saying? Oh yeah. Euro 2012 quarter finals. Photos. Click here.
In order for this match up to put its money where its mouth is, you’ll need to visually prey on the weak, naive and pouty. Images: AP Photo/Thanassis Stavrakis.
The luxury of the group stages is over and last night, over nachos and peach schnapps, we watched Portugal engage in a war of attrition against the Czech Republic’s goal.
It was a bit of a turgid affair, Kickettes, but eventually, Crisps and his slicked back style broke through the barricades and scored the only goal of the game, leading to much merriment and falling over. From us, not them.
With a trio of matches and the semifinals on the line this weekend, try not to worry too much. Your teams are going to be just fine.
Image: AP Photo/Armando Franca.
First he looked hot (in a hat), then he did not.
By the way, it’s not cheating on your other half if you think constantly about the first photo for the next 6-8 weeks.
Image: Shaun Botterill/Getty Images Europe.
Some mid-sections are never concerned with being caught unawares, Kickettes.
Here’s a “we came to get down” selection of them from all this weekend’s matches.
The Euro 2012 Group O’ Death action soldiered on Wednesday and here’s our two cents about it:
Denmark: So, we know next to nothing about this team. Except that Bendy wore green pants that we’ve never seen before. We thought we’d seen all of his pants, so we’ll go with that.
Portugal: Some of the players need several soft-bristle brushes and a good conditioner to properly prep for game days. An excess of testosterone bodes well in footy matches, but when Ronaldo doesn’t have the energy or desire to whore out his body, you know he’s had a bad day.
Netherlands: Wesley Sneijder’s torso. And that tattoo. Oranje fans have suffered with this enough but Ibrahim Afellay is so refreshingly cute, he makes us want to skip through meadows and wear petticoats.
Germany: Well, they had this loveliness up front. Also up front, Mats Hummels. We assumed teams only needed one muscle-bound, vein-bulging footballer to win a game. So, congrats on that.