'Pre-Season' Category

Good Week/Bad Week: Beefcake, Anyone?


Azkals’ Neil Etheridge. In need of intensive training, apparently. Image: stylenarratives.

Enough, Already: Phillippine Azkals manager Dan Palami has announced his boys are about to go into a five month intensive training programme to prepare for the AFF Suzuki Cup in November. For those of you unfamiliar with the Azkals, we mentioned them here, and their goalkeeper is an underwear model.

We’ll check in in a few months with you, boys, but honestly? We’re not seeing much room for improvement so far.


Kitted Out: Colour Them Bad?


Images: TumblrSoccerlens.

What’s Wojciech upset about? Has he just realised that he will spend the next season dressed in pink, despite protesting in the most vociferous manner possible when the idea was mooted last time around?

Or is he just entering into the spirit of things now his colleagues have gone all emo for their new away shirt? To be fair, none of them look happy about it.

We’ll look forward to that one with interest. But in the meantime, it may surprise you to learn that pink n’purple are not the most shocking colours to appear on a kit release this week.


Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet


Antonio Mirante in Parma’s pre-season training: keeping us going since 9am this morning. Image: Marco Luzzani/Getty Images Europe.

Good lordy, our bootays are dragging today.


Kitted Out: Borussia Dortmund & Tottenham Hotspur


Image: H/T to @STARTackler.

Kickettes, quick kit news hits if you care:

- Roman Weidenfeller’s girlfriend, Lisa Rossbach, is thrusting her tantalising triumvirate (lips, blips, hips) forward whilst fronting a new retail campaign for Karstadt Sports. The accompanying advert copy apparently takes aim at Schalke 04 and its fans, telling them they can “look but not touch.” Oooh…! Zing…? Burn….?! We realise this cheeky reference might make perfect sense to some, but we hope we never meet them.

- Under Armour and Totts are teeing up what promises to be a veritable circus of events to officially unveil the club’s 2012/13 kits, the invited journos rumour mill reports. Scheduled for sometime between July 10-12 at an undisclosed location in London, fellow Gareth Bale watchers should mark their calendars asap and begin contemplating which illness you’re suddenly going to be stricken with. Make sure it’s one that’s contagious (although open sores on the face should be avoided) and requires antibiotics and bed rest for one to three days.

Parma FC: Putting Pre-Season Into Perspective


serie a footballers calcio soccer players beach bodies toned fit

Image: Marco Luzzani/Getty Images Europe.

The players of Parma are tireless pre-season torch bearers, paving the way for all squads returning to light domestic club training. These men undergo rigorous semi-commando scientific studies annually, testing oxygen equipment, ice baths and naturally made sources of water, in order to deem these devices safe and worthy of their peers’ use.

All hail their bouncing bulge on the beach, Kickettes. For they are tightly packaged, toned wonders to behold.