'Product Shill' Category

Irina Shayk: Fingerless Gloves Are Good For Something

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Images: Replay Jeans.

We’ve been slow to post on the pics doing the rounds of Irina Shayk’s Autumn/Winter campaign for Replay Jeans. Reason being we’re conflicted.

Yes, Irina’s topless. We can obviously see that. But she’s also wearing fingerless gloves in various colours and textures.

We normally understand these fash-hazards to have no real purpose other than to protect the palms of wannabes falling down nightclub stairs, but once again, we’ve been shown that we don’t know squat about anything. We think we do, but we do not.

As Cristiano’s girlfriend skillfully demonstrates, fingerless gloves are great breast warmers. In the off chance that one’s shirt, scarf or jacket are nowhere to be found, of course.

Kickettes, should we employ these uniquely versatile accessories for our next Friday night outing, or fight them until we break a pinky nail? Please do advise.

Bayern Munich: Blinded By ‘The Bright’

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We’ve spent a lot of time fantasising that Thomas Muller will one day gaze dreamily into our eyes. Honestly? We’re a bit scared of the repercussions now. Image: REUTERS/Adnan Abidi.

It’s that time of year again, folks. Yes, while you’re labouring through the debris of another expensive holiday season, hiding whenever the postman comes ’round for fear of your credit card statement being delivered, rich footballers are off getting free swag.

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John Terry: Smokin’ Hot

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Image: FINDLAY KEMBER/AFP/Getty Images.

Remember kids. Smoking is bad. It rots your lungs, prematurely ages your skin and due to recently implemented non-smoking legislation, can cause hair frizzing as you stand outside in the rain.

Now, John Terry might have made our hair curl in the past with his nefarious lady-bothering activities, and even caused the odd bout of breathlessness when his shorts get clingy, but so far he hasn’t aged us. So we can understand his anger upon discovering that his image is being used on government issue warnings placed on a brand of cigarettes in India.

The England captain is apparently considering legal action against those responsible for the warnings, which were still adorning packets of ‘Gold Flake’ in Delhi yesterday. Rightly so, or is he just peeved because he didn’t get condoms, like Davey B a couple of years ago? Or his own version of this Oliver Kahn endorsed World Cup accessory from 2006?

Only time and legal action will tell, Kickettes.

Arsenal FC: Anxious In Antlers

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via futbolita.

There’s been a dearth of Adorkable activity on this site since Arsene Wenger put Project Kidling on the backburner in favour of pursuing trophies. Now that that’s over, Theo Walcott, Wojciech Szczęsny and Bacary Sagna have been given special dispensation to don antlers and shiny red noses for this clip.

Watch as they ( around 0.13 & 0:41) get into the spirit of thing with gifts and Gunnersaurus. While you’re doing that, we’ll explain what’s going on to Bacary, who, from what we can gather, isn’t totally clear.

Product Shill: Alexis Sanchez For Gillette

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If the footy thing doesn’t work out, we’d prefer Alexis to pursue either professional diving or boxing.