'Product Shill' Category

Advent Calendar Girls: Sarah Brandner & Abbey Crouch

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Bastian Schweini girlfriend WAG Bavaria knickers

Images: © obs/AXE Unilever Germany.

Spiked egg nog may boast ‘Have A Drunkenly Forgettable Merry Christmas’, but nothing says ‘Happy Horny Holidays!’ quite like Sarah Brandner in a bubble bath.

We’re not sure what holidays everyone here celebrates (but are open to hearing more!), but most of our staff grew up believing that Santa was real and Grandma couldn’t ever make our favourite homemade cookies because she got run over by a reindeer.

Ever since the ‘advent’** of WAGs, things have clearly changed.

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Product Shill Pose Off: David Villa v Karim Benzema for Adidas Tango 12

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Images: Adidas Football.

Hallelujah, UEFA Euro 2012 has officially kicked off. Many games will be played, many fine men will wear shorts whilst running.  Stamina and shorts in the summer is always a good thing. And with so many matches and players to choose, where should you focus your valuable time and attention?

For the time being, we say David Villa (Spain) and Karim Benzema (France), who are two of the hands and faces modeling the new Adidas Tango 12 – the official match ball of Euro 2012.

Since we needn’t really continue as y’all know the drill, let’s get to analysing.

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Product Shill: Coleen Rooney, Butterflies

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Please enjoy the TV commercial for Coleen Rooney’s latest fragrance, Butterflies.

In case you didn’t know, butterflies have an important place in Coleen’s life ever since she incorporated them into her wedding to Wayne three years ago. Cute.

Needless to say, her scent’s advert hasn’t made an ‘indelible impression’ on our holiday wish lists – what about you, Kickettes?

Product Shill: Festive Fun For FIFA 12

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And to think, the people at which this advert is aimed don’t even care about how cute Kaka looks with a banjo, Tim Cahill’s thoughts on bonsai, or whether you can see up Pique’s shorts in the living room scene (you can’t).

If it wasn’t for us, the whole thing would have been a bit of a waste of money, really.

AS Roma: Posing In Jeans, Jackets & Jumpsuits

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Whilst watching this behind the scenes video of Roma’s new merch catalogue, we get an unfortunate look at the conundrum that is Osvaldo’s hair.

There. We said it. The hard part is out of the way.

The club did take our delicate sensibilities into consideration and also populated their promo with Lamela’s torso, Baby Bojan’s mouth pillows and a sizzling Simon Kjaer to make up for up it.

If this is Roma’s version of hazing for the newbies, we’re totally on board.