'Product Shill' Category

Pepsi Max Pose Off: Carlos Bocanegra vs. Jozy Altidore & Maurice Edu



We’re aware that Clint Dempsey was there too, but we omitted him from the comp because his bedroom eyes weren’t staring straight at us. Or the camera. Either way. Oh and, soz about the quality of pics. We figured you could all get past it for the sake of our opinion sourcing post. Image Credit: Twitter & Tumblr.

Today’s USMNT carbonated beverage pose off is a battle between brawn and bromance. At left, we have Carlos Bocanegra looking as American as a cherry tree just before it’s picked and processed into pie. And those arms? Strong enough to carry five grannies in each across the street. His silent but deadly stance has even inspired us to start recycling next year. Go us.

Jozy Altidore and Maurice Edu are playing the devil’s advocates to Boca’s camera lighting heavenly halo in their still frame on the right, which we have mixed feelings about. Jozy is clearly a contemplative thinker type, and we’re wondering what he’s thinking about or if it’s us. Edu, on the other hand, blatantly isn’t. He’s actually quite unapologetic in his hot playa position, which we’re not totally hatin’. However, if their objective was to tag team that photographer’s lens in naked unison, then we’re hard pressed to find any angles that illustrate their spoils of victory.

Is Carlos winning your vote with his ‘less is more’ attitude, or is it double your pleasure, fun and pimp juice with Jozy and Maurice for you?

Product Shill: Aitor Ocio For CK One Shock Cologne


Aitor Ocio at the CK one Shock launch

Finest Five member, Aitor Ocio, smiled pretty and did his spokesmanly duty at the CK One ‘Shock’ launch in Madrid yesterday. We highly recommend taking a moment (or an hour) to look at all of the photos from the launch, they’re the best distraction on this Thursday morning. Image Credit: Divinity.

Onto A Winner: Phil Jagielka, Everton FC


Oh Phil.


Portland Timbers: Fashion Forward For EarthTec


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Having burned out our frontal lobes (and our lines of credit) in New York, London, Milan and Paris recently, we gulped when another video entitled ‘Fashion Week’ landed on our mousemats. Our nerves were no less frayed when we realised that said video was prefixed with the word ‘Portland’.

But don’t panic, Kickettes. For this ‘Fashion Week’ vid features Portland Timber’s players Mike Chabala, Rodney Wallace and Sal Zizzo espousing the virtues of environmentally friendly lifestyle clothing by EARTHTEC, while simultaneously interviewing models and mostly (4.41) looking manly and hot.

Your purses should remain unmolested.

Lionel Messi & The Electronic Shoe Revolution


What an informative photograph! Thanks, Leo. Image via sochuteiras.com.

Clearly, the most exciting thing about this photograph for most of the Kickette staff is that it not only offers a far more expansive view of Leo Messi’s ‘action’ than we’re used to, but we also get to speculate on how he achieves such smooth and supple skin on his calves and thighs.

However, our resident boot porn aficionado has broken free of her shackles once more, and advises us (through her gag, so it must be quite important) that the boots Leo is wearing here contain a very special microchip thingy that tracks player movement and will apparently revolutionize the game.

Cool. But do you think he uses depilatory cream? Wax? Or has he gone for the more permanent solution of electrolysis?

We should be told.