'Product Shill' Category

Bayern Munich: Strike A Pose(r)

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Bastian has arranged his features into an expression that implies he knows he looks like a buffoon, but is being paid enough by his club not to give a crap. Or maybe he’s just thrilled to be 27 years old. Who knows? Images via fcbayernmunich.de

The use of football players in club catalogue modelling is fraught with danger. They’re not trained, y’see, and no matter how cute/handsome/downright hot a player might be in his natural environment, if he’s not schooled in the ways of the low budget lean, throwing him into a branded cagoule and hoping for the best just isn’t going to cut it.

Still, we’re always optimistic that a player might throw off the clichés and inspire us to buy a tracksuit. Let’s see if Bayern Munich have anything to offer, shall we?

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Edurne: Hair Free & Care Free

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Spanish singer Edurne, WAG of Manchester United’s newest goalkeeper David de Gea, shows that she’s bare – literally everywhere – thanks to Veet. Her visibly pointy girly bits are thanks to the on-set air conditioning.

Andres Iniesta: Secrets Of His Hidden Wine Cellar

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Andres Iniesta and barrels of wine

Images: MundoDeportivo.com.

Andres Iniesta is slowly but surely pining for our sweetest of alcoholic spots, Kickettes. Not too long ago he first gave us an excuse to make like a martini as we watched him flaunt his sezzual side in a sharp, fashion editorial. Now, however, he’s really blown the roof off our recently renovated Kickette HQ with some wonderful, wine-tastic news.

Andres Iniesta in his bodega

Last Sunday, the Barcelona and Spanish NT member gave a few privileged members of the media an inside look at his winery, the Bodega Iniesta. As a family run, 110 acre venture located in the ballers’ hometown of Fuentealbilla, it’s got enough barrels of vino to supply our children’s children with uni party booze. To-date, Iniesta’s winery has produced three types of wine: a light white called ‘Corazon Loco’, a deep red dubbed ‘Finca el Carril’ and a chardonnay named after his baby girl, Valeria.

Footie skills, cute babies, high fashion marks and adult beverages? Andres is a very talented man indeed!

Abby Wambach: Succinct Shilling

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ESPN SportsCenter advertising their Women’s World Cup coverage with the assistance of USWNT striker Abby Wambach. Presented without comment. Bwahahahahaha! via ESPN

Product Shill: Yann Sommer For Our Hopes & Dreams

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hot football players soccer sports Nike Switzerland

Cheers for the tip Nicole!

Switzerland underage goalie Euros 2011 U-21Yann Sommer, where have you been all our European U21 Championship-tracking lives? Your epic Swiss prettiness makes us feel like someone accidentally let us out of our insane asylum (Kickette HQ) for the night after a multi-year stint in solitude. Each of us has our own personal fantasy of what we’d do to a face like yours, but because our game of Rock, Paper, Scissor has ended in a stalemate 10 times over, we’ve yet to determine which ravenous staffer gets the privilege of carrying out their ONS fantasies. With or without your parental consent forms.

Kickettes, are our urges universally-shared? Any one else want to try jockeying for a piece of the action?