'Product Shill' Category

A Peace Offering: Aitor Ocio’s Cinco de Mayo Six Pack

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Atletico Bilbao player shirtless hot soccer

Image via tumblr.

Ok, so we’re busted. We over-promised consistency with the Thursday Thigh Off and now we have to approach our beloved readers on bended knee and beg for forgiveness at our failure to deliver. Don’t worry, we’ve memoed ourselves a reminder to post tomorrow and promise to never double book ourselves during the same time as our weekly Iker poster dusting sesh.

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Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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Hark! Whose stray chin strands go there? Image Credit: REUTERS/Giorgio Perottino.

Saturday

- We had harsh words for the owl-kicking Colombian player after we caught wind of the incident, but they weren’t nearly as bad as his court-mandated punishment. Luis Moreno must pay an undisclosed fine, foot the bird’s treatment bill and perform community service at the local zoo.

- Would you ‘turn off the TV’ for Alessandro Del Piero? What if he bribes you with his bedhead and Italian language-of-love skillz?

- Gerard Pique’s girlfriend, Shakira, won 6 trophies at the Latin Billboard Music Awards. Not too shabby we say.

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Good Week/Bad Week: Specs Appeal

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Image Credit: John Richmond Eyewear. Image Source: Carmenitaola.com.

GOOD WEEK

Home Schooling: Samuel Eto’o dons tortoise shell glasses and looks… well, let’s just say there’s a reason he’s in the ‘Good Week’ section of this post. The Kickette staff will be sent to bed without any cocktails tonight though, as we failed to include him in our amazing ‘Players As Pupils’ post. A+++ for Eto’o, E- for us, darn it.

Normal Baby Names: Antonio Cassano became a daddy this week to a healthy baby boy named Christopher; Kaká & Caroline have settled on calling their daughter-to-be-in-no-time Isabella (which means ‘god’s promise’) Hurrah!

Sticking Around: Some much needed good news for Arsenal fans, as Jack Wilshere confirms he will not be leaving his Adorkable friends for a lucrative deal at Manchester City. He made the announcement via Twitter (natch), accompanied by a pic of himself kissing the Gunners’ badge.

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Chelsea FC: It’s T-Shirt Time!

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Here’s a video featuring a football team modelling a new kit, a delectation which offers something for everyone in our very wide demographic of readers:

- Like to perv on the pretty boys? Check.

- Keen on boring the crap out of fellow fans with your rigorous review of a club’s badge detail, width of shoulder stripes and colourway of a new jersey? Yup, this one’s for you, too.

- Just like to watch videos because it’s infinitely more interesting than your day job? We got your back.

Please enjoy the Chelsea boys playing up to the camera as they model their club’s yet to be released 2011/12 home shirt. If your day is in further need of gorgeous guys in garb, the newly-minted smooth operators of Celtic FC are available for your scrutiny, too.

Product Shilling Players As Pupils: If Kickette Controlled The Classroom

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Futbolista product promo

Image source: Wire Image. Thx for the story spots, NH & PG!

Calling all students: Kickette class is now in session. Toss your knapsacks under your seats, boys and girls, and pay close attention to today’s lesson on “Publicity Pouting 101″ – featuring the cream of the school clique crop.

Aitor Ocio/Teacher’s Pet

Our kinky-costumed kiss-ass was announced as the new face (and hopefully body?) of a few Schweppes tonics in Madrid last Thursday. He told reporters that he speaks with his ex/baby momma, Laura Sanchez, daily to ensure their daughter Naia – whom he called his ‘greatest triumph’ – grows up to be a happy, normal lady.

Grade: A - . We’re already halfway through our 2011 ‘to-do-us’ list, and his hair is stacked a bit too tall for our plus rating’s liking.

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