As is evident in the above clip, Jess is about as bad of a driver as Stephen is a liar.
We can’t fault her for it, though. Ever since the iPhone 5 did away with Google Maps, we’ve lost all sense of direction too.
Whether it’s product shilling, exposing torsos for our perving pleasure or whispering sweet nothings in our ears, American footballers have been versatile contributors to the Cosmo Bachelor of the Year pantheon. None more so than the abs-olutely decadent Lance Parker, who we are thrilled to learn has been nominated as this year’s hottest unattached male from Oklahoma.
Celeb gossip folklore from yonders past has always intimated how awesome Susan Sarandon, Academy Award-winning actress and mother to Eva Amurri Martino, is in real life.
But as this pic illustrates, she’s not only awesome. She’s swagalicious too.
Damn it must feel good to be Karalyn West.
ICYMI: Howler Magazine is a brand new footy mag containing roughly +100 pages of original writing, humour, op-eds plus beautiful illustrations and photography. Emphasis on beautiful photography.
Shameless plug: since the pub’s editor was gracious enough to give you, our lovely and loyal readers, a sneak peek at Stu’s feature from issue one (we’ve been promised “several” more of where the above came from as well), do us a favour and order your copy of Howler Magazine’s first issue now. It might be wise to add a yearly subscription to your Crimbo wish lists, too. Either way, you should buy Howler for the sole purpose of objectifying Stu Holden the Super Hero.
Trust us, Kickettes. We’d never steer you wrong in matters as important and life changing as this.
Let’s be clear. When footie computer games start offering incentives for drunken flirtbags like us to play (shirt removal, ‘proper’ manlove celebrations, dressing room camera access), our office uptake will increase exponentially.
Alternatively, the company shilling the product can just invite one of the hottest players ever to walked the hallowed turf (say, Heath Pearce) to a launch, put him in a vintage Mickey Mouse sweater and get our mates over at KICKTV to chase him through lilac lighting with a cameraphone.
EA, you have excelled yourselves. Can you hear that? It’s the sound of a thousand heels on concrete as the Kickette faithful stampede towards you to buy whatever you’re selling.
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