'Product Shill' Category

Lips & Layers: Pepe Reina

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As most of you know, expecting anything cohesive from us during the later stages of a Friday is… ignorant, frankly. So, much as we would like to speculate in great and gory detail about our favourite Liverpool keeper’s lips brushing up on another woman’s pout (who isn’t us or his wife), we’re going to be realistic and keep things short.

Reina went with a blue on blue on blue colour palate for dinner at Casa Lola Restaurant in Puerto Rico last night. As usual, he had the untucked shirt, sexy-in-a-scarf GQ steeze down to a science and was rocking the hell out of that sun-kissed, tanned skin of his.

We give Pepe’s overall aesthetic an A++, and that’s without grading on a Frank Lampard dirty denim curve. You?

Product Shill: Smart ‘Soccer’ & Strippage From Adidas Football

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Adidas football unveiled it’s latest innovation today – the micoach Elite system – which will track players physical conditions in realtime. As one of our staffers learned at the presser, Major League Soccer clubs will be the first to don these mini devices on their clothing.

There’s all these fancy bells, whistles and shiny things inside the compact piece of hardware – including a GPS tracker/locator. So essentially, if a player like Chris Pontius forgets to take off his sweaty kit upon arriving home after practice, that GPS will do your dirty work.

Brilliant.

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Thomas Vermaelen: Warrior Master

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And we are his slaves. Unf.

Crystal Palace: Call Them Crystals

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Did you know Championship side, Crystal Palace, has cheerleaders, Kickettes?

Welp, now you do.

Used as a pretty obvious marketing tool to gets idiots to renew their season tickets, the squad features extremely flammable hair extensions and nail acrylics. Lots of ‘em.

Kitted Out: Colour Them Bad?

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Images: TumblrSoccerlens.

What’s Wojciech upset about? Has he just realised that he will spend the next season dressed in pink, despite protesting in the most vociferous manner possible when the idea was mooted last time around?

Or is he just entering into the spirit of things now his colleagues have gone all emo for their new away shirt? To be fair, none of them look happy about it.

We’ll look forward to that one with interest. But in the meantime, it may surprise you to learn that pink n’purple are not the most shocking colours to appear on a kit release this week.

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