Just a thought, but if the Barcelona medical staff are thorough enough to measure his tan-lines, does that mean they record the dimensions of everything else too? If they do, and there are photos of it, there are few things we won’t give up to gain sight of them.
A couple of our number have offered limbs. We’re not joking.
Really, how many times can we pull out the thesaurus to find a different way to say “love rat” and “man whore”? We’ve reached synonym burnout when it comes to Mario Balotelli’s love of keeping a bevy of ladies on the down low.
Over the course of the past year or so, we’ve been privy to details concerning the Man City star’s dining style, affection for fancy dress parties (dressing for them, not going to them), 12 hour private tours and hooker habits.
We, perhaps more than others, enjoy the potential daddy-to-be‘s playboy image – think it suits with all the flash and stuff. But yeesh, could you just keep your pants on and stay inside for a weekend? Maybe five?
And what of poor Lauren Thorne? She didn’t even get her 15 minutes in the sun before getting kicked to the kerb by several pairs of perspex platform shoes. Even Holly Henderson achieved more than that.
Image: REUTERS/Eddie Keogh, AP Photo/Matilde Campodonico.
Anyone near our offices who may have just heard that loud pop, it definitely wasn’t us opening a bottle of bubbly and swigging champs straight from the source.
Probably had something to do with the, er, Olympics.