'Randoms' Category

Thursday Thighs: Cristiano Ronaldo


Cristiano’s thighs: always out of our reach, but rarely out of our thoughts.

Cesc Fabregas: How Does He Measure Up?


Image: spetteguless.it.

Just a thought, but if the Barcelona medical staff are thorough enough to  measure his tan-lines, does that mean they record the dimensions of everything else too? If they do, and there are photos of it, there are few things we won’t give up to gain sight of them.

A couple of our number have offered limbs. We’re not joking.

The Sizzle Query: Álvaro Arbeloa


Recently, one of our Facebook mates posited a complex query to us, one that requires several parts imagination and one part explanation:

“Dear Kickette(s), what do you think of Álvaro Arbeloa?”

Shall we?


The Infidelity Files: Mario Balotelli


Really, how many times can we pull out the thesaurus to find a different way to say “love rat” and “man whore”?  We’ve reached synonym burnout when it comes to Mario Balotelli’s love of keeping a bevy of ladies on the down low.

Over the course of the past year or so, we’ve been privy to details concerning the Man City star’s dining style, affection for fancy dress parties (dressing for them, not going to them), 12 hour private tours and hooker habits.

The latest? Throughout the last 18 months or so, MB was cheating on Raffaella Fico with that chick from the Euros. You know the rest.

We, perhaps more than others, enjoy the potential daddy-to-be‘s playboy image – think it suits with all the flash and stuff. But yeesh, could you just keep your pants on and stay inside for a weekend? Maybe five?

And what of poor Lauren Thorne? She didn’t even get her 15 minutes in the sun before getting kicked to the kerb by several pairs of perspex platform shoes. Even Holly Henderson achieved more than that.

The Tuesday Torso: Edinson Cavani, Uruguay


Image: REUTERS/Eddie Keogh, AP Photo/Matilde Campodonico.

Anyone near our offices who may have just heard that loud pop, it definitely wasn’t us opening a bottle of bubbly and swigging champs straight from the source.

Probably had something to do with the, er, Olympics.