'Randoms' Category

Beck Talk: Becktastic Prophylactics


Beckham Long Love “Bedroom Eye” Condoms, now with less lead and toxins!


We give it four to five more seconds before some serious lead-filled lawsuits start to fly from the Posh & Becks legal team.

Link: Beckham’s Chinese Condoms Are Number One

cheers P!

Randoms: Booze, Babies and (possible) Bitch Slaps



If this story is true, don’t you think Johanne Beckham could totally take out Danielle Lloyd with a quick right hook? In case you’re keeping score, this is Dani’s third cat fight in the last eight months. Sweet and classy. Btw, did you know that Joanne used to date Jermain Defoe? Believe it, girls. During her birthday celebrations and bitch slaps at Studio Valbonne, story has it that the two ex-love birds hooked it up.

Tottenham’s Ledley King is a man who cannot handle the al-key-hol. A night’s celebration with the lads after the Carling Cup win resulted in him being completely ass out and kicked out. This is not the first time for Mr. King.

However, Jermaine Jenas is a true die hard, doing the nation proud with his ability to get completely blottered until the early hours of the morning for two nights in a row with nary a tabloid scandal and his trousers remaining on. Nice work, JJ.

imageSheree Murphy’s baby shower: the Justine Mills (Cricket boutique owner) version.

(Warning, this includes much product and location shilling/ name dropping.) Check this week’s OK! for more pics and deets.

Start planning your stalking/ mini-skirt schedule now chickies, the list of the top earning footballers in Europe is out.

Lazy Links & Randoms


imageBarnsley/WBA goalkeeper Luke Steele is quite nummy. We feel rather put out by the fact that we’ve only just discovered him (and his total porn star/US soap opera name).

Don’t hate, Liverpool supporters. Or, hate if you need to, but allow yourself to secretly admit to the hotness.  It’s the right thing to do.

Francesca Amber Sawyer is a former WAG on a mission.  She’s parlaying her experience dating EPL players (none of which she’ll name) into an advice book on dating stars.  And wait, that’s not all.  She’s also going to start a ‘kiss and tell’ story agency.  Kind of makes Alex Curran’s perfume launch via the prestigious OK! Magazine Parfumerie seem quite virtuous and admirable.

imageJamelia wants the death penalty brought back because the UK is going to hell in a hand-basket. 

Other random Jamelia news/thought processes: she’s signed a book deal with Orion to publish her autobiography this fall, she feels awful about what’s happening to her friend Cheryl Cole’s marriage, she’s making hubby-to-be Darren Byfield sign a pre-nup and she was in leopard print at LFW for the Julien Macdonald show.

Ian Wright’s ex wife is no fan of WAG wannabes and puts a hefty stack of blame for adulterous footie situations squarely on the shoulders of opportunistic skanks and scallywags. 

She says: “This is no different to prostitution. They’re simply ‘wannabes’. They want the sort of lifestyle they imagine a footballer’s wife to have and they don’t care what they have to do to get it.  And as much as I despise footballers who are willing to sacrifice their families for instant sexual gratification, I pity the foolish women who see it as a job to snare a footballer and then milk it for whatever they can get out of it.“

What did Cristiano Ronaldo’s £8,000 text messages say? Finally, we have closure.

Hottie or Nottie: Phil Bardsley


Phil Bardsley’s just signed for Sunderland, which seems to us a well-played and strategic move by Roy Keane. 

After all, the Black Cats are seriously lacking in sizzle factor lately. 

Still, we’re not entirely convinced this is the best move for the 22-year-old defender. 

Are his looks enough to collectively raise the team up from the bottom of the table? 

It’s your call, Kickettes: is Phil a hottie or nottie?


We think Phil is lush, but have to call whoa on the belt. We hate the buckle more than anything that exists, or has ever existed, in any retail establishment across the galaxy. A pair of flip flops and socks with a side of acid wash would have fared better for us.

Links: Insults and Unattractive People


Danielle Lloyd recently joked on a Sky program that she isn’t with Teddy Sheringham any more because he didn’t take her shopping.  Well, there’s truth to every joke, right? So in this case we side with Danielle.  (Now there’s a first).  And also, does this chick have selective memory or what? Remember the Choo bed-gift?  Anyone? Bueller?

Don’t mess with this Ghanaian African Cup of Nations and former Leeds player: you insult his country, he’ll have sex with your wife.  Sounds fair.

Victoria Beckham’s Cavalli catwalk situ: we don’t get it.  The headband, the gold necklace, the everything.

In a recent poll, women have voted Wayne Rooney as the world’s ugliest baller.  Hope he wears his winning sash with pride.  Better luck next year, number 2 Ronaldinho. Try rolling around in your money to ease the pain.