'Rumour Mill' Category

Where’s Sergio? Tracking the Elusive Off-Season Ramos

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Footballer break season has been underway for some time, and whilst we’ve certainly enjoyed the onslaught of holiday photos, we have felt rather deprived from visions of metallic swim trunks and freshly waxed skin. Normally, one can rely on Sergio Ramos to come through with these such goods, but so far, he’s been curiously incognito.

Where in the world could he be? We’ve narrowed down the options:

1. Deep in the heart of middle America on the Hairdressing Offenses Against Humanity Witness Protection program waiting until the offending salon is brought to justice. (Reference photo above); or

2. In Miami getting fitted for his custom-made Jessica Simpson/Ken Paves hair extensions to correct his recent scissor abuse (again, reference image above);

3. Stuck in the queue at Louis Vuitton in Paris waiting to snap up some Kanye West for LV sneakers;

image4. Somewhere in Spain practicing his flamenco routine as he attempts to try out for season three of Fama ¡A bailar! Barring any oddly placed kinesio tape, other contestants will have nothing on his swinging hips;

5. At home in Sevilla with his dog, Odie, catching up on his Harry Potter library of material in anticipation of the new release, taking extensive breaks in between audio books/DVDs to sort his manbags according to designer and color.

We know one thing for certain: Sergio is not set to return to Real Madrid until July 27; the possibilities for his geographical location are endless. He did make a brief appearance at the Belen Lopez flamenco show in Madrid earlier this month, so we think Europe is the most likely answer.

Where is he? Could Sergio be on his way to Los Angeles to take his long-awaited private tour of Neverland Ranch? Recovering after some particularly grueling manscaping?

Sigh. We miss him terribly.

Lazy Links and Randoms

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Does Christoph Metzelder have a new gal-pal? Rumour has it that Marie Wellmann, who works in PR for a swanky hotel, is the lucky lady. Nothing officially confirmed yet, but the pair have been seen together at several different events recently. Watch this space.

Lots of weddings to celebrate: Alberto Gilardino married his girlfriend Alice, Alvaro Arbeola tied the knot in Zaragoza, Ruben de la Red married his fiancee Tania,  and Mancini married his girl Vanessa.

The Beckhams celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary this weekend. Wow. A decade of Goldenballs. Imagine having that on your CV.

Oh: please, we implore you. Check out this photo of the very first time Victoria and David met. Are you dying?

imageLooking for a night out with cocktails, great tunes and mingling with footballers? Head to WAG/baller staple nightclub Ithaca on July 9th for the Dolce Vita launch party being held by two of our favourite Manchester Kickettes. Bring a micro mini, it’s going to be a hot one! More details here (as pdf file), including how to RSVP and get on the guest list.

Cheryl Cole is gifted a robot vacuum cleaner from Danii Minogue. This is disturbing on many levels. Let’s start with the insinuation that Cheryl has the time or inclination to clean her own house. Blasphemy.

Has the Body Heat Tanning Salon worked out some sort of deal with Real Madrid?

Yikes. Wayne Rooney needed stitches after a mishap on his holiday yacht. Livin’ large can be dangerous, y’all.

Frank Lampard has left the skeeves. He’s now on daddy duty with his daughters in Spain, and we couldn’t be happier.

Lazy Links & Randoms

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imageMichael Owen to Manchester United? That is some serious pocket-sized man news.

(We liked his appearance on Dragons Den.)

Xabi Alonso is getting married next weekend. He and long-time gal (and foxy baby mama) Nagore, will tie the knot in Guipuzcoa.

Manchester City says John Terry is interested. He just doesn’t know how to say it. WTF?

Raul looking nothing short of edible on the beach. With his wife. Damn it.

The Beckham’s response to all the chit chat about the Grant Wahl book?

Release some new robot/bony arse/could-you-two-look-any-more-uninterested-in-each-other-sexually photos from the Armani campaign.

Terrible time of late for Jermain Defoe. His grandmother collapses and dies at his brother’s funeral.

Not sure what exactly the adventures of Nando Gingerbread are, but we want in.

Italian Players: The Summer of Tabloid Love

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imageWe love the Italian media.

When it comes to reporting the good, bad and in-between of Italian footballer behaviour, they always err on the side of dramatic. 

According to all the tabs, just about every player in the league has done some relationship damage in the off-season

Split: Jose and Matilde Mourinho to Divorce – UPDATED

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imageUPDATE:

Although reports in numerous media outlets in Portugal and Spain ran stories last wee about The Special One and his “special” friendships with other women, Jose Mourinho and his wife have gone public denying they are separating.

The family have done a group shot whilst on holiday with the magazine Lux, and insist all is well on the home front.  Interestingly enough, the magazine states that Mourinho isn’t going to sue anyone who printed the story about the divorce.

Curious, no? If the stories were way off base, wouldn’t you be calling in the solicitors? We sense all is not what it seems on this one, Kickettes.

Original story continues below.


To all those with a penchant for the silver foxes amongst us, here’s a heads up.

Jose Mourinho, Inter Milan’s head coach and key cashmere-wearer is getting a divorce from his wife, Matilde.

Apparently, the straw that broke wifey’s tolerance levels were the rumours of Jose hooking up with an Italian woman

Matilde (also known as ‘Tami’)  is allegedly the one who contacted the lawyers first to initiate divorce proceedings.  It’s not the first time she’s had to deal with stories about Jose’s women wrangling, either.

Looks like there may be a court battle for possession of moola and other such items – wonder what’s really gone down for Matilde to want to take her childhood sweetheart to the cleaners? Maybe she discovered he used her good moisturizer and forgot to put the cap back on. That’s grounds for divorce.

Jose has three children, Matilde, Jose Jr. (Zuca). He and Matilda senior met when they were teenagers in Portugal and got married in 1989. Reports say the family is on vacation in the far east but don’t confirm whether it’s Matilda on her own with the kids or if Jose is there too.

thanks TB and Carly!