And we don’t mean pig like we’re talking to our homies, ie: the feds, five-oh, boys in blue, etc. Nope, we’re talking about the four legged bacon variety of pig. And who are we kidding? We don’t have homies. Unless you count the salespeople at Fendi.
Warning: before we carry on, this story comes via the National Enquirer and you know what that means, right? It’s like, totally fact-checked and completely true, riiiight?
Whilst looking around a private school for her sons in the suburb of Sherman Oaks, CA, Victoria Beckham was taking a look around a science lab. Two pot-bellied pigs took a shine to her new look and began a hot trotter pursuit. Victoria ran off in her high heels screaming.
Oh, how we truly hope, wish and pray this event actually happened. Video footage has yet to be unearthed.
Note: one of the pigs names is Horatio.
You can thank us for that crucial bit of information later.
Link: Pigs Don’t Like Victoria Beckham
All is asunder, good readers.
Stories of not only a Spice Girls reunion abound, but also, tales of a Spice Girls musical.
Last night, Victoria Beckham had dinner at celeb constant, Nobu, in London, with two of her old Spice mates, Geri Halliwell and Emma Bunton. Those eavesdropping on their dinner conversation said that Victoria was urging the gals to revive the group in the States, where they can make gazillions of dollars and then head back to the UK with a well-timed reality TV show.
We’d like to cause these eavesdroppers great bodily harm, but we’re too busy trying to get the “zig-a-zig-ahhs” out of our heads. Let’s watch this space and see what 2007 brings.
Link: Dinner Adds Spice
From the We’ll Believe It When We See It files:
Victoria Beckham has reportedly signed on to star in a Tom Cruise Scientology themed film, “The Thetan” as an alien bride. According to scientology, Thetan is an immortal being spiritually present in all humans. Victoria would be playing Thetan’s wife.
Yeah, sounds like madness to us also. Unless of course, the alien bride is wearing Gucci.
Tom Cruise is self-funding the project because, strangely, he couldn’t get investment from any of the major studios.
Link: Alien Bride Posh
So, he’s a nude beach loving, parked car booty call having, woman beating kind of guy (who’s lost his looks) and now he’s decided to bring back his career by openly declaring his wish to return to the Premier League.
Actually, change “wish” to “desperate wish”.
Undaunted by his age and/or mental issues, Stan is training his butt off harder than Rocky Balboa before a title fight.
His agent, Simon Kennedy was quoted as saying: “During his time at Villa, he was in the worst mental state of his career. The time Stan spent at Villa was a massive disappointment to him. He would love the chance to go back and set the record straight.“
So apparently, Katie Holmes will be playing Victoria Beckham in an upcoming biopic about David Beckham’s life.
*pause for deep cleansing breaths*
Up until now, we’ve been happily putting our fingers in our ears when stories fly about the Beckhams’ friendship with TomKat, even after David’s very recent tabloid comments that he had a long heart to heart with Tom when he was dropped from the England squad.
We successfully ignored the photos of Victoria shoe shopping with Katie and carrying around a Scientology Indoctrination handbook. But this, we cannot ignore.
One small mercy: Tom Cruise will not be playing the role of David, due to “marked physical differences”.
Link: Holmes to Play Victoria Beckham