Andrea Pirlo has beaten Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Serie A’s Player Of The Year in a Goal.com survey. Image: AFP PHOTO/JONATHAN NACKSTRAND.
Isn’t it about time some beauty guru/company created a miracle eye potion that truly erases the visible signs of aging (i.e. under eye bags and crow’s feet)? We plan on carting around some serious Zlatan-esque demarcations this weekend, so ideally this would happen sooner rather than later.
In Ibra’s case, let’s hope the VIP hotel super suite that Sweden specifically arranged for him and four other players (while the rest of its squad suffers in lower tier “common rooms”) comes complete with soft, non-skin tugging satin sheets.
It’s that awkward time of year when recently awarded trophies are settling into their new oak cabinetry homes, international teams are already looking ahead to the next big thing and every journo, agent, manager and momma is arguing over who will stay put and who will flee for pastures greener next season.
Because summers which have a major tournament or two on deck inevitably drag things to the point of exhaustion, we tend to lay low on the transfer talk until it blows over.
Whilst watching videos of Juventus celebrating their Scudetto win over the weekend, we couldn’t help but make the following observations about the wide-range of physical talent on offer from a few of their players:
Giorgio Chiellini: McDonald’s Playland bouncy ball pit hot (0.00 – 0.03). Mirko Vucinic: will lecture you on your life choices hot. Leonardo Bonucci: sexy, seemingly “slow” at times hot (0.07 – 0.11) Marco Borriello: hates his Phantom of the Opera mustache too, but blows kisses anyway hot (o.15 – o.20).