Handbags: Fernando Llorente & Marcelo Bielsa
When news broke on Monday about Fernando Llorente’s training ground scuffle with Athletic Bilbao’s manager, we left our shopping bags with a well-behaved toddler and ran for the nearest wifi signal.
'Serie A' Category
Kevin-Prince Boateng & Melissa Satta Cover Vanity Fair, Announce Their Engagement
They’re hot, in love and sans various articles of clothing in the September issue of Vanity Fair Italia.
Oh, and Melissa is the proud new owner of a 1.8 carat, F colour Damiani solitaire. You read that right: Kevin-Prince liked it so much he put a modestly sized ring on it. K-PB was recently promoted to the F5 by yours truly, a decision we’re beginning to regret in light of Mr B’s lacklustre ring buying skillz.
Congrats to the happily nude couple!
Weekend Results: A Rampant Case Of The Panzerknackers
“Die ‘Panzerknacker’ von Schalke 04“. Yup. What they said. Image: Dapd via Derwesten.de.
According to our team of linguistics experts (AKA wikipedia), ‘Panzerknacker’ means ‘armour breaker’.
We’ll warn you now, one of our staffers is so in love with that word, she’s going to keep using it as a euphemism until we either fire her, or smother her with samples from the fashion cupboard.
Maybe both.
Good Week/Bad Week: Mouthing, Marriages & Fading Memories
Neymar looks quite comfortable miming to that, doesn’t he? Do you think if we all collectively pray to the gods of great music, we can prevent him from embarking on a singing career?
Matias Almeyda: Autobiographical Allegations
We prefer our scandal, bribes and exposes of the Same Dress at Same Party shocker variety, but the Serie A doping and match-fixing claims Matias Almeyda makes in his autobiography, “Almeyda: Life and Soul” are pretty juicy.
Basically, ish goes down in the ex-Argentina international’s new book, in which he claims he was given what he now believes were drugs while at Parma from 2000-02. And as part of a promo blitz for the tome that, frankly, puts Hope Solo to shame, Matias allowed excerpts to be reprinted in Gazzetta dello Sport this week.
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