'Serie A' Category

The Tuesday Torso: Ezequiel Lavezzi, Napoli

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Excuse us. Somehow, this battered but beautiful lump of man has eluded our sophisticated tracking system up to now. No longer, Eze, no longer. Set the weapons to ‘stun’, Kickettes. We’re going in. (Reuters/Daylife) Thanks A!

Weekend Results: Record (And Leg) Breaking

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Yes Andy, give yourself a round of applause. (Getty Images/Zimbio)

For many months now, we’ve been voicing our objections to the lack of commitment by some players to their responsibilities. There are simply too many footballers using base layers, results and/or ridiculous rules as an excuse to keep their shirts on and deprive us of our Monday Morning man meat fix.

Above, Andy Carroll puts his fellow players to shame by demonstrating how easy it is to fulfill the criteria of a Kickette lead photo. Note how the removal of the shirt and raised clapping hands results in enhanced abs and a subtle glimpse of a scrummy hip dip. How the slightly rueful expression on his face is uniquely placed to send women rushing to St James Park in order to comfort the boy/smear him in chocolate and molest him.

Come on, boys, it’s not difficult. Make a lady happy today.

And while you’re waiting, peeps, please avail yourself of the weekend results.

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High Street Stroll: Wesley & Yolanthe Sneijder In Milan

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Yolanthe may look like she’s about to start a “bish, please” situation over Wesley’s rejection of her leg-warmers, but that’s not what’s going down at all, Kickettes. Take a look at part two. Awww! They’re in wuv.

Milos Krasic: His Hair Is Alive

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Juve’s Felipe Melo, Milos Krasic (c) and Leonardo Bonucci celebrate another victory for hair product. Getty Images/Daylife

Milos Krasic.

Like Carlos Tevez and Jimmy Bullard, this is not a name you would expect to find on a website dedicated to football hotness. However, you might recall that Milos has cropped up on the Kickette radar occasionally due to his exceptional ‘living combover’ hairdo.

We therefore feel it appropriate to offer our congratulations to Milos, who celebrated the birth of daughter Mila last week by scoring a hat trick for Juventus against Cagliari and causing merry hell down the right hand side in Juve’s 1-1 draw with Manchester City in last night’s Europa League fixture.

Clearly, he is doing just fine without our support. Nice one, Milos! (Getty Images/Daylife)

Buon Compleanno: Francesco Totti Turns 34

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Please join us in wishing Kickette Hot Hall Of Fame member Francesco Totti a happy 34th birthday today.

Fra threw one of his trademark hissy fits after being subbed off during Roma’s 1-0 win over Inter Milan at the weekend, but later insisted he meant nothing by it and that he hopes to spend many more birthdays wearing the shirt he loves so much.**

Still, we feel as though he could use some comforting. Please form an orderly queue as the “Lick Frosting & Squirty Cream Off Fra’s Abs” party will be commencing at Kickette HQ in about one hour. Ta.

Happy birthday Francesco!

** We’re sure he meant taking off the shirt that he loves so much.

Image via Vanity Fair