'Sirius Bizniz' Category

Bruno Fernandes Is Tired Of Being In Prison, Ready To Walk Out & Go Eat Some Rare Barbecue

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This is Bruno Fernandes, dear readers. He’s a former Brazilian league champion and convicted kidnapper who’s currently on trial again – this time for the assault and murder of his ex-girlfriend (and mother of his youngest child).

Based on reporting by the Associated Press, he’s also a hungry man:

“Bruno is tired of being in prison,” said attorney Rui Pimenta to O Globo newspaper outside court in the town of Contagem. “He is ready to walk out and go eat some rare barbecue.”

Seriously. Read. The. Reports. Because. We. Have. No. Words.

Would You: Swap Spots With Roberto Di Matteo?

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Note: This post is not intended for the purpose of inciting a heated debate on racism. Please stay on topic and keep your thoughts, comments PG-13 and non-attackful if you even care to share them.

For those propped up against their beds’ headboards, blissfully spooning their duvets and unaware of the outside world, Chelsea lodged a formal complaint with the FA against referee Mark Clattenburg last Sunday for what they believe was a racist insult aimed at John Obi Mikel during that day’s match versus Man United. While the club’s second complaint involving Juan Mata has since been dropped, Clattenburg’s already been relieved of this weekend’s duties – due to “scrutiny” said the FA – and the Metropolitan Police are now concurrently investigating the matter.

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Snorkelling BAMF: Leonardo Bonucci

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He may not look it, but Bonucci is a badass mofo. For realz.

Grappling Over Genitals: Ricardo Quaresma & Ahmed Nur Cebi

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Does this look like a dude who’s trying to take Mario Balotelli/Joey Barton’s coveted Chief Hooligan of Looking, Acting and Talking co-titles?

Well if Ahmed Nur Cebi’s allegations turn out to be true, then yes.

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Jonathan Legear Crashes His Porsche Into A Petrol Station Store, Injures One Customer

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Belgian international footballer, Jonathan Legear, said he was “only slightly” over the drink-drive limit when he and his car crashed through the glass doors of a petrol station store, ramming through several stalls of food and drinks along the way.

We’re going to need a more precise definition of “only slightly” when Jonathan gets a second.