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Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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Not just Germany’s most popular WAG, she may just be their most popular female celebrity. Respect Claudia Lahm, Kickettes. Image taken July 2010. Image Credit: REUTERS/Michaela Rehle.

Saturday

- Possibly unscientifically-proven German search engine research found that Philipp Lahm’s wife, Claudia, was the most sought after woman on their ‘celebrity barometer’, based on the number of news stories she was featured in. Report runners-up were Anna-Maria Lagerblom (ex of Mesut Ozil) and Monika Podolski (wife of Lukas).

-Neymar took faux hawks to a whole ‘nother, epic level this weekend.

Cheers to EC for the hair raising discovery. Image Credit: JEFFERSON BERNARDES/AFP/Getty Images.

- Rafael and Sylvie van der Vaart proved their power couple perfection yet again. We’ll never grow tired of these two even though their standard of living will never be within our means.

- A suavely-coiffed Xavi attended the Catalunya GP this weekend, and some sources have reported that Ducati driver, Valentino Rossi, knelt down in front of Xavi and kissed his feet. (Sidenote: Bigfoot was also there.)

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Get Well Soon: Steve Zakuani, Seattle Sounders

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Disclaimer: do not view if you’ve just had something you prefer to keep safe within the confines of your stomach. Thx to Sandra R. for the story spot!

Last Friday, during a MLS match between the Seattle Sounders and Colorado Rapids, Sounders’ midfielder Steve Zakuani’s tibia, fibula and other body parts ending in “a” fell victim to an ill-timed tackle from the Rapids’ Brian Mullan (as seen above around 0:20).

Since then, Stevie Z has been somewhat popular on the social networks circuit, as he itemised in an open letter posted on his non-profit’s Web site thanking his friends, family and fans for their support. As he embarks on his post-surgery road to recovery, Mullan will most likely face disciplinary sanctions of sorts, expected to be announced sometime today.

SZ – we hope you’re back in no time. If you haven’t received our very best batch of ‘feel better soon!’ brownies, just wait longer. Our success rate with baking is fairly poor.

Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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WAG hurt in car crashSaturday

- Sadly, we learned that Stephen Ireland’s longtime girlfriend, Jessica Lawlor, sustained major injuries in a car crash that occurred midweek last week. The 25-year-old Mum was supposedly riding shot gun in her friend’s Audi before the luxe car crashed into a tree. Although she was initially treated and discharged with a clean bill of health, she returned to the hospital two days later due to suspected internal bleeding and/or organ damage. We hear she’s healing nicely, but we’re sending our thoughts & warmest get-well-soon wishes to Jess & fam anyway.

- David Beckham proved the power a top shelf bootay can have over our purchasing habits.

- Crystal Palace’s James Vaughn (on loan from Everton, mind you) got fiesty with a wall over the weekend. Can’t we all just get along?

 

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Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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Reality called us this weekend, but we sent him straight to voice mail. We definitely had better things to do, like collect the three convertible bra straps that we hung on our neighborhood pub’s walls, which was our drunk membranes’ unsuccessful attempt at telling the ‘last call’ minder to go kick rocks. On top of that, we had mounds of gossip to ignore get through.

Best to pace yourselves, Kickettes, as you read through this weekend’s top news. Then, promise us that you’ll never recklessly pull a “Coyote Ugly” moment of your own?

Saturday

Wife of David is pregnant with couple's first girl- Victoria Beckham, along with her three sons and hairstylist/friend Ken Paves, took to the Home Depot Center to watch hubby/daddy David in action for the LA Galaxy. Would ya look at that bump?! It sure looks robustly round when seen from the side, but straight-on shots of this Mum-to-be seem to tell a different story.

- Speaking of blossoming bundles of joy, we heard Caroline Celico’s Mum organised an intimate shower for her daughter in Sao Paolo. As we’ve been relentlessly reminding you of for some time now (more so because we fear we’ll forget) Mr. & Mrs. Kak√° have about a month left to prepare for the birth of their second child.

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Sirius Bizniz: Paolo Maldini Indicted For Corruption, Tax Spying

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For months we anxiously waited for an excuse to post this throwback Paolo Maldini picture from 2004 (taken at Macy’s in NYC’s Herald Square). Unfortunately, though, the circumstances surrounding today’s archives publishing are far from selfish.

Yesterday, the former AC Milan star was indicted on charges of corruption and illegally accessing information systems (aka ‘spying’). The retired Rossoneri ringleader, according to investigators, bribed a lifeline within the Italian revenue department to help him conduct an illegal tax investigation of another man involved in a Tuscan property transaction back in 2009. Maldini, of course, has denied all accusations.

Yeesh – ’tis a bit heavy for a Tuesday, no? Well, there’s more, but we’d rather focus on turning our readers’ frowns upside down with a pleasant twist in photo fate: Andriy Shevchenko, also at Macy’s in 2004, sporting some seriously hilarious hair and an equally-ripe for mocking tracksuit.

Our archives are nothing short of a cowlicked miracle, we tell ya.