It’s rare that staff at Kickette HQ agree on anything: mimosas or martinis, Balenciaga or Alexander Wang, whether the Fernando Torres freckle we bought on eBay is authentic or not, etc.
But there’s one thing we are unanimously decided on: Pepe Reina is a sexy beast. He’s cruisin’ for a spot on the F5 in the future, we can tell you that much.
Images: REUTERS, Marca.com.
While we know that footballers love their fans, we’re aware that they prefer to do the old ‘meet n’greet’ thang in carefully controlled circumstances. There are, after all, loony people wandering the streets, just waiting for an opportunity to athletically leap across the table and commit unspeakable acts involving massage oil and cake. But more on them later.
Why yes, it is a slow news day, thanks for asking! Now let’s analyse Fernando Torres’s hair.
Why He Cut His Hair
“To be honest, I told my wife ‘I need to look more like a father’…but…everyone tells me now I look like a kid so it was a mistake.” – Fernando Torres when asked why he cut his hair.
When he first got the chop, vindication was our initial feeling. But we’re starting to agree with Fern – the cut may not have propelled Nando to being breakout star of the World Cup, but we lurve his natural baby boy brown look now.
Why He Refused To Do It In The Past
Oddly enough, his father supports the short style since he once tried bribing a 17-year-old ‘Nando to cut his hair in exchange for a car. Fern’s response to his fathers request + a mandatory trip to bible studies? No go on the cuttage – saying biblical long-haired boys Samson, John The Baptist and Jesus were his inspiration.
“But did you notice they all walked everywhere?” was his dad’s clever comeback. Point taken.
Why He Won’t Do It In The Future
In response to speculation on what he’d do if Spain won the World Cup, “making promises related to hair is easy. That wouldn’t be any problem and the occasion requires something bigger.”
What Has Extra Meaning Now We Know What We Know About Mr. Torres And His Fertile Baby-Making Abilities
With wifey Olalla pregnant with their second child, Fern’s comments about looking more like a father make sense. He’s all growed up, bless.
Image via Diario de Ibiza
Damn the day jobs, because they take us away from 1. drinking 2. shopping 3. napping 4. scouring through the emails sent to us by eagle-eyed readers in a timely manner.
Like, for example, the now infamous video of Mr. Fabregas wearing fluffy slippers and kissing a male journalist sent to us by our entire Kickette Army. Sigh. We will try to do better, dear readers. If you haven’t yet seen, please enjoy and pretend we posted it three days ago.
What matters now is that we can all feast our mid-week wearly eyes on a photo of Cesc and Gerard Pique having a feast of their own whilst on holiday in Ibiza. Here’s the tricky question: how long would it take you to hip check the random hombres/chicas at the table out of the way to get to the boys? We’re going to estimate three seconds if in stilettos, two if in wedges.