Let’s address the two stories that are filling up our inboxes with panic, scorn, and scorn-filled panic. We must warn you though, you may not be satisfied by what we have to offer. If you’re looking for closure, you shan’t be getting it here.
Let’s start with the Pastasauce rumours of an engagement with the mighty Iker Casillas:
They’ve gone head-to-head before, Kickettes. And we all know how that went. But we feel the risk of repeating ourselves is worth it.
After seeing shots of our most-oft visited Monday morning/afternoon/evening fantasy, Marco Borriello, on vacation in Ibiza (with this), we thought: why not give him a chance to claim his hot Italian place in the hallowed ‘Hell, Yes’ halls of our HQ?
Is Bori your ultimate beachy-with-benefits babe? Or, will you vote for one of our favourite Spaniards, Xabi Alonso, who is in Mallorca with his family, and definitely deserves a place in every girls Most-Wanted list?
Go on, dear readers, tell us who gets your holiday hottie vote this morning?
We never want to mock or scorn footballers who take time out from their holidays to do charity work. That’s why we’re saying nothing. Nothing at all. Not a corn-rowed, plaited, braid of a word about Sergio Ramos and his head game situ in Senegal while working with UNICEF.
We will, however, say a few words about home-girl on Sergio’s right: Caught in the blinding headlights of Sergio’s hair crime; riveted, unable to move nor blink; transfixed; dazed, yet also intrigued and a little curious. And possibly itchy.
We have much to catch up on today, from weddings to engagement rumours to abs that need judging, so we will be brief: there is nothing Sergio can do that will stop us from loving him and wanting to have mad, hot monkey sex with him. We survived the green jeans, and God willing, we will survive this hair travesty of the highest order.
Bonus: Compare and contrast Sergio’s 2010 plaits with David Beckham’s 2003 version.
It’s Friday. You survived the first non-World Cup week. You deserve this.
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