Image Credit: Nicole Jewell. Do a drive by of her site, Pass The Ham, when you can Kickettes – we’d both very much appreciate it.
Fellow pleasure seekers, we’re thrilled to report that one of our loyal Kickette Army soldier girls, Nicole Jewell, has opened up her private portfolio of Spanish NT parade pictures for you all to see.
On behalf of everyone in our close knit community, thank you Nicole. We love you like Alex Gerrard loves pleather pants and fawn-coloured eyebrows. We may even love you more than ‘ballers love their webcams. That’s real love, Kickettes.
Without further ado, join us as we take a well-groomed and flexed ride around Madrid with a selection of our future bedroom conquests.
Images: REUTERS/Alessandro Bianchi.
Poor Italy. After their fantastic performance against the hotly tipped Germans, speculation abounded that Super Mario and his boys would have enough in the tank to ruin Spain’s plans for global domination.
The Spanish, possibly peeved by accusations that they were boring throughout the tournament however, took their über shiny A-game to Kiev and stroked their way into the history books by beating Italy 4-0. If you’re still under your duvets, that means they’re the first team ever in the history of the universe to win three consecutive tourneys.
Afterwards they brought their babies onto the pitch, which was precisely when we became the first people ever in the history of the universe to get pregnant by pictures.
Have a looky for yourselves, Kickettes. Even hardened hacks will be overwhelmed by the (updated with even more anti-birth control) cuteness.
Image Credit: Stephen Wong of Wong Wong.
For once, we have a proper excuse as to why our coverage of a vitally important international fixture has been useless.We didn’t sleep through Spain vs. Portugal. Nor were we out shopping, out of cellphone battery and/or range or still drunk from an editorial meeting that took place three days ago.
Nope, this time…We. Were. At. The. Game.
Walk with us through the photographic evidence of our adventure, which we have interspersed with professional shots so you can see what happened on the pitch vs. what the folks standing in front of us did with their hair all evening.
In order for this match up to put its money where its mouth is, you’ll need to visually prey on the weak, naive and pouty. Images: AP Photo/Thanassis Stavrakis.
The luxury of the group stages is over and last night, over nachos and peach schnapps, we watched Portugal engage in a war of attrition against the Czech Republic’s goal.
It was a bit of a turgid affair, Kickettes, but eventually, Crisps and his slicked back style broke through the barricades and scored the only goal of the game, leading to much merriment and falling over. From us, not them.
With a trio of matches and the semifinals on the line this weekend, try not to worry too much. Your teams are going to be just fine.
No, it’s not right nor fair to make anyone choose, but no one said a life objectifying men would be easy.