As we’re sure you’ve heard, the ongoing transfer saga surrounding Cesc Fabregas - leader of the donut parade - from Arsenal to Barcelona is still…well, ongoing. Until Monday it seems. They sure do know how to build the suspense, eh?
Kickettes, if/when Sex heads out of your EPL-following lives forever, will you be sad to see him go? Or will you barely take notice of his absence?
And is there anyone out there who still believes in unicorns, witches’ brew and transfer window falsehoods?
Image taken 5.8.11. Image Credit: Getty Images.
Nostalgia is the name of the game, Kickettes. After yesterday’s happy trawl down memory lane with Parma, we decided to revisit a locale that qualifies as ‘over-used’ in our fantasy archive; Aitor Ocio’s abs. Our decision to place in the latest incarnation of the F5 list seems but a small gesture when compared to the guy’s lifelong commitment to publicising the muscle group. We’re with you, Aitor. One oblique at a time, baby.
Seen on the left are said abs as they appeared during Athletic Bilbao’s pre-season medical check-ups last year. On the right, you will find the same abs, at the same check-up, twelve months on.
Ahem. Well, they look fine. But we genuinely feel that we would need to palpate them for a while before being in a position to offer a comprehensive medical analysis. You?
Marco Borriello can barely contain his excitement. Philippe Mexes’ missed-our-list consolation prize is the latest pout-plumping lipgloss from Boots.
You lot might be thrilled and excited about today’s reveal of the new Kickette F5 list, but we can assure you that our comments moderator is not. It’s taken us several weeks to rescue her from beneath the mountain of mail received on the matter and it’s very possible she may not ever recover and/or want to work with us again.
You should take pity on her and send flowers to the Mayhem & Fruit Beverage Suite, where she’s still holed up enjoying her quietly calm surroundings before bearing the brunt of the oncoming opinionated-readers storm.
Partaking in this discussion does not affect your rights to be taken seriously as a footie fan. It just makes you a more complete one.
Kickette’s Finest Five list has always been a controversial one with our readers.
We’ve caught a lot of flack over the years for not including Fernando Torres on this list. After his freckles petitioned hard for the right to sit atop our pretty pile, he opted for a club switcheroo, which caused all of our closets to take a turn for the worse. A lesson for all the men out there: if you’re in a room full of ladies who love labels, you better come correct, or else they’ll start policing for your immediate, sun spot removal.
In any event, beautiful ‘ballers are beckoning us once more and we’re ready to give our Finest Five list a makeover (or in Carlos Bocanegra’s case, a full body shower. We’ll bring the loofahs!) You’ll have to pardon our choice to skip out on a total face lift; our Tiffany’s piggy banks have been on diets since the World Cup.