'The Finest Five' Category

Joe Hart & Kimberley Crew: Shopping Around London Town


A day after bumping into some Chelsea lads at the pub, Manchester City’s Joe Hart and his girlfriend, Kimberley Crew, were seen leaving the Land Rover shop in Mayfair (21st March). Kickettes, which is the most desirable unit of measurement to use for making biased assumptions about this couple: quality or quantity of shopping bags?

Marco Borriello: Facebook Friending & Private Terrace Trespassing


Images: Facebook. Cheers Dielle!

Seems odd, but we don’t take much notice of footballers on Facebook. Heck, we’re seriously demotivated when it comes to updating our own Facebook page. Yes, you know the one. It’s covered in moths, chewing gum wrappers and someone clever has written “Wash Me” in the 2 inches of dust that’s settled on top of it.

However, we feel the time has come to make an exception. Our Finest Five number 1, AS Roma’s Marco Borriello, has sent his 5-o’clock shadow siren call across the broadband network. He’s on Facebook and we’re all over it like… blind rage and beards on DDR.

What’s Mr. B. been up to so far? Well, he’s shared new, computer screen crashing pics of his face and body in a ‘foto’ album that he probably named himself. No password or chastity belt keys required for access btw, Kickettes – he’s giving his goodies out for free.

We suggest you book a few hours at the spa to relax and mentally decompress before browsing Borri’s page. Once home and properly primped, immediately cancel all weekend plans and fluff your pillows. Comfort is critical when basking in the glory that is his welcome video.

Last but never least, give that wine delivery service you’ve got on speed dial a call and request one of their finest bottles of Chianti. You’ll need this as collateral to complete your masterful strategy of seducing that freaky IT chappie from your office.


Cesc Fabregas’ Image Issues: Beard Or No Beard?


Arsenal captain facial hair question

Images: Getty Images.

Hearing how Arsenal captain/Finest Five member, Cesc Fabregas suddenly found himself in facial hair distress earlier today was all shades of traumatic for our office. For one unfortunate staffer, the decision making panic came on abruptly and forcefully, and she failed to keep the agonising memory of motherly desertion outside a Harrod’s dressing room pent up in her mental chambers.

For the most part, her pangs of torment can be attributed to the fact that after hours of trying on an array of gorgeous garments, she eventually had to put her purchases on hold in order to locate said parental unit. Once the pair reunited and returned to the sales counter, all her items had vanished into another thin girl’s bag, and she had no choice but to sulk off into the sunset empty-handed.

Damaging stuff, we tell you.


Gerard Pique & Shakira: Good News Or Bad News First?


Images: ElPais.com; Thx to Emma for the tip!

Like the ‘chicken or the egg’ theory, we face a conundrum here, folks.

Shall we be the bearers of blasphemous bulletins and admit defeat first or soften the blow with some positive peace of mind?


Things We Learned From Being The Talk Of ESPN’s Terrace


Hot football soccer players

Nothing pleases us more than seeing a group of grown men get together to discuss hot footballers, as inspired by our mancandy lust lists of objectification. We’re like, so legit.

Wait, we take that back. Seeing Chris Cohen hold up a tonguetastic photo of Fabio Cannavaro was the cherry on top of our post V-day sundaes.

See how fickle we are? Knowing how quickly our taste in ‘baller boys changes, it’s no wonder ESPN Talk Of The Terrace guests Darren Huckerby, Michael McKell and Tom Davis had a hard time naming any member of our Finest Five list during a game of ‘hottie or nottie’ earlier this week.

In spite of the fact that all three ‘contestants’ were unable to conjure up correct guesses, we did find a bright spot in Birmingham City’s Curtis Davies thanks to Michael McKell. He told us to check him out, and that we did and are still doing.