'The Finest Five' Category

The Friday Fit: Yoann Gourcuff, France

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Oh, Yoann, just to be that bottle of water being raised to your mouth… or those headphones nestling inside your perfect ears… or that tie wrapped around your elegant neck… We see you Patrice: stop judging our fangirl. Image via FFF.fr

Cesc Fabregas: Hot & Bothered Boredom

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Spanish National Team World Cup

Nothing says “I’d rather be eating donuts” than staring at the ceiling. Praying for the presser to be over doesn’t work either. Nevertheless, his beard is working for us. Images via AFP Photos.

The Finest Five 4.0: Reader’s Choice Reveal

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After a close call (Vidic v. Cahill) as well as record-high votes (Gourcuff v. Kranjcar), the wait is over. So, who made the cut?

No, not Marco Borriello. Much to our dismay. You have broken his heart and left our headquarters in shambles.  In other words, you came out in masses to rally around your favourite finely-arsed ballers. Click through to celebrate your victories, Kickettes.

And please be sure to put down the scissors. We all like our highlighted ends, thank you very much.

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The F5 Vote: Fernando Torres v. Cristiano Ronaldo

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Some may consider this dual the “grandaddy of them all”. We call this “last call for alcohol”.

There’s only five spots and one of them simply can’t make the cut. By now you know the rules, so click through to hear our thoughts and then be sure to leave us your own.

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The F5 Vote: The Arsenal Triple Challenge

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shirtless bendtner

NICKLAS BENDTNER, ARSENAL

nicky displays his waresThe case for: Our favourite Dane! He’s long, lean, and (as we’ve mentioned numerous times perv-iously), likes to give his scanties and thighs fresh air whilst in public places. Speaking of thighs, we imagine his are kitten soft and extremely welcoming. Our Elite Eleven party boy’s body ain’t bad either.  We thoroughly  appreciate a a footballer that knows he’s wanted (see the ‘come and get me girls’ stance, right), parties inappropriately, and has dimples. Come to mama.

Need more? He’s a tall (6’5!) drink of water champers. He doesn’t date-discriminate in the age-stakes, is down with the kids (and co-ordinating sunnies), and looks like he’d be a damn good laugh on a night out.

The case against: He’s a shite driver. His youthful insouciance can be seen as deal-breaking arrogance. Of course, we see Nicky B as a work-in-progress. He might burp the alphabet but he’s worth it for the late-night party tricks.

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