'The Finest Five' Category

Olivier Giroud: Has No Naked Shame


UPDATE 1: These pics are old, as @SianMacalarny pointed out to us. Whatever. They’re still glorious. UPDATE 2: These pics crashed our servers (so maybe they’re new to others as well), but we’re good as gold now. If problems persist for you, drop us a line.

Your eyes are about to become the widest they’ve ever been, Kickettes. That bum in the background right there? Belongs to one of our finest five members, Olivier Giroud.

Beware: really, wowser-y, X-rated photos are safely tucked away in this photo gallery if you’re so inclined.

Also: this explicit video (on a NSFW site) of the new Arsenal footballer (hubba hubba oh right!) is like a thousand Christmas mornings.

Yoann must be so jelly right now while Mario Gotze and Michael Dawson, relieved.

Sergio Ramos: Campaigning Hard For The Finest Five


We just can’t quit the ‘ballers on breaks right now, Kickettes. Is that so wrong of us?

Don’t answer that.

In light of yesterday’s rethinking of the Finest Five (thanks to Carlos), what do you all have to say about us potentially bumping Sergio up on our hottie totem pole?

The Tuesday Torso: Carlos Bocanegra


boca muffin burger naked in espy the magazine

Images: ESPN.

Thoughts on this particular Tuesday Torso, Kickettes:

1. We sincerely hope ESPN The Magazine’s Body Issue never stops doing what it does.

2. Why oh why did these pictures have to come to an end?

3. According to our belief system, this is a ticket straight to the top of the Finest Five. We’re currently in crisis talks to determine the best course of action.

Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet


Antonio Cassano is a lefty?

Righty-ho then!


Olivier Giroud: Burn, Baby, Burn


Image: golem13.fr. H/T to readers Oumayma E & Frédéric B!

Picking up the shirtless, nearly nekkid torch from our other favourite Frenchman, Yoann Gourcuff, Montpellier’s Olivier Giroud decided that the best way bring an end to a fine season of footy was by allowing his abdominals to bask in Tetu Magazine’s spring photoshoot breeze. A breeze that will come in handy when he puts out that fictitious fire our hormones started.

Then again, now that we’ve had the chance to playfully cradle and coo at the rest of this Finest Fiver’s photos (appearing in next month’s issue of of the gay mag) during our mandatory nap time, we vote ourselves “Most Likely To Cheerfully Burn In Hell For All Eternity Just To Have 10 Minutes Alone With This Man.”

God bless you, Olivier. Let’s hope this wonderful trend of whatever the hell is happening in these shots continues throughout this summer. And indeed, until the end of time.