Partaking in this discussion does not affect your rights to be taken seriously as a footie fan. It just makes you a more complete one.
Kickette’s Finest Five list has always been a controversial one with our readers.
We’ve caught a lot of flack over the years for not including Fernando Torres on this list. After his freckles petitioned hard for the right to sit atop our pretty pile, he opted for a club switcheroo, which caused all of our closets to take a turn for the worse. A lesson for all the men out there: if you’re in a room full of ladies who love labels, you better come correct, or else they’ll start policing for your immediate, sun spot removal.
In any event, beautiful ‘ballers are beckoning us once more and we’re ready to give our Finest Five list a makeover (or in Carlos Bocanegra’s case, a full body shower. We’ll bring the loofahs!) You’ll have to pardon our choice to skip out on a total face lift; our Tiffany’s piggy banks have been on diets since the World Cup.
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Images: Facebook. Cheers Dielle!
Seems odd, but we don’t take much notice of footballers on Facebook. Heck, we’re seriously demotivated when it comes to updating our own Facebook page. Yes, you know the one. It’s covered in moths, chewing gum wrappers and someone clever has written “Wash Me” in the 2 inches of dust that’s settled on top of it.
However, we feel the time has come to make an exception. Our Finest Five number 1, AS Roma’s Marco Borriello, has sent his 5-o’clock shadow siren call across the broadband network. He’s on Facebook and we’re all over it like… blind rage and beards on DDR.
What’s Mr. B. been up to so far? Well, he’s shared new, computer screen crashing pics of his face and body in a ‘foto’ album that he probably named himself. No password or chastity belt keys required for access btw, Kickettes – he’s giving his goodies out for free.
We suggest you book a few hours at the spa to relax and mentally decompress before browsing Borri’s page. Once home and properly primped, immediately cancel all weekend plans and fluff your pillows. Comfort is critical when basking in the glory that is his welcome video.
Last but never least, give that wine delivery service you’ve got on speed dial a call and request one of their finest bottles of Chianti. You’ll need this as collateral to complete your masterful strategy of seducing that freaky IT chappie from your office.
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Images: Getty Images.
Hearing how Arsenal captain/Finest Five member, Cesc Fabregas suddenly found himself in facial hair distress earlier today was all shades of traumatic for our office. For one unfortunate staffer, the decision making panic came on abruptly and forcefully, and she failed to keep the agonising memory of motherly desertion outside a Harrod’s dressing room pent up in her mental chambers.
For the most part, her pangs of torment can be attributed to the fact that after hours of trying on an array of gorgeous garments, she eventually had to put her purchases on hold in order to locate said parental unit. Once the pair reunited and returned to the sales counter, all her items had vanished into another thin girl’s bag, and she had no choice but to sulk off into the sunset empty-handed.
Damaging stuff, we tell you.
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Images: ElPais.com; Thx to Emma for the tip!
Like the ‘chicken or the egg’ theory, we face a conundrum here, folks.
Shall we be the bearers of blasphemous bulletins and admit defeat first or soften the blow with some positive peace of mind?
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